Becoming

“It is the light that encourages the flower to open up to the world.”

I see that all things must be done in love if I am to remember all the things I already know but forgot when I entered this human life and grow towards who and what I am.

If I am not acting out of love then I am acting out of fear.

It’s as simple as those two things.

We came from the ultimate love and love is what we are, and we are perfect just the way we are.

It’s why we want to love.

But to experience who we are and what we want to be, we must do what we don’t want to do.

We can’t know ultimate joy without ultimate pain.

We can’t know hot without cold.

We can’t know the power of our light without darkness.

We can’t know that we don’t want to hurt others unless we know the heartache of causing it.

It’s all part of the lesson, the becoming, the end result, neither good nor bad.

It’s what we are here to do.

Don’t judge yourself for the journey of finding out who you truly are.

You are in the process of coming closer to knowing your perfection and magnificence.

I, just like God, love you just as you are.

And like God, there is nothing you could do that could change that.

What Surrender, Again?

There are no coincidences in this experience called human life. Every second orchestrated in beautiful harmony whether we can see it in this present moment or not.

I’ve been very physically sick, sicker than I’ve been in a long, long time. For the last few days it’s been constant suffering. There still seems no end in sight. It came on like a storm out of the blue.

It has forced me to slow down and just be. Though at this very time my ego has been feeling it quite inconvenient. I cannot go run and do a million things to avoid myself.

I can’t do much of anything except talk (and that is difficult), read and do some writing.

Why is this perfect timing?

I’ve lost someone I love.

Today I should’ve started the gift of my new position at work.

I’ve had to allow people to help me. Those I typically help, I’ve had to lean on to help me, which is still a work in progress for me.

I’ve had to say no to people.

Although I’m finding life today is not how I would’ve liked to see it, and add to it being physically hurting and ill, this is actually the perfect time.

I have been “encouraged” by the universe to delve deeper within.

And so I have.

This feeling of complete and utter surrender, being out of answers, no resistance, giving up everything I think I know, exhausted and at the mercy of all that is in this moment, is a familiar feeling I’ve felt before.

Uncomfortable as it is, I feel the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders, again. Weight I never knew I had been carrying, yet again.

I can look back at all the growth and beauty that grew from this experience in the past and believe that it’s about to happen again.

Because I have awareness today.

Because I trust.

Because I am open.

Because I am willing.

Love and Fear

In the book Conversations With God, Neale Walsh writes his answer from God about the two deepest emotions that motivate humans – love and fear.

“And here is how human behavior produces repeat experience after repeat experience; it is why humans love, then destroy, then love again: always there is the swing from one emotion to the other. Love sponsors fear sponsors love sponsors fear.

And the reason is found in the first lie—the lie which you hold as the truth about God—that God cannot be trusted; that God’s love cannot be depended upon; that God’s acceptance of you is conditional; that the ultimate outcome is thus in doubt. For if you cannot depend on God’s love to always be there, on whose love can you depend? If God retreats and withdraws when you do not perform properly, will not mere mortals also?

And so it is that in the moment you pledge your highest love, you greet your greatest fear.

For the first thing you worry about after saying “I love you” is whether you’ll hear it back. And if you hear it back, then you begin immediately to worry that the love you have just found, you will lose. And so all action becomes a reaction—defense against loss—even as you seek to defend yourself against the loss of God.

Yet if you knew Who You Are—that you are the most magnificent, the most remarkable, the most splendid being God has ever created—you would never fear. For who could reject such wondrous magnificence? Not even God could find fault in such a being.”

Does God Talk To Me?

Conversations with God
Neal Donald Walsh
Book 1

To whom does God communicate? Are there special people? Are there special times?

All people are special, and all moments are golden. There is no person and there is no time one more special than another. Many people choose to believe that God communicates in special ways and only with special people. This removes the mass of the people from responsibility for hearing My message, much less receiving it (which is another matter), and allows them to take someone else’s word for everything. You don’t have to listen to Me, for you’ve already decided that others have heard from Me on every subject, and you have them to listen to.

By listening to what other people think they heard Me say, you don’t have to think at all.

This is the biggest reason for most people turning from My messages on a personal level. If you acknowledge that you are receiving My messages directly, then you are responsible for interpreting them. It is far safer and much easier to accept the interpretation of others (even others who have lived 2,000 years ago) than seek to interpret the message you may very well be receiving in this moment now.

Yet I invite you to a new form of communication with God. A two-way communication. In truth, it is you who have invited Me. For I have come to you, in this form, right now, in answer to your call.

Friends and Truth

Thank god I have loving people in my life, surrounding me, that tell me the truth. They don’t co-sign on my crap and tell me what I want to hear to make me “feel better”.

They don’t hold my hand and placate me co-dependenttly.

That is not love.

They love me enough to risk me being angry by hearing the harsh truth from them.

If the ones I care about continually were to tell me that hurtful behaviour was okay, that I am right to be angry, cowardly, selfish and self centered, then my ego will grasp onto that and tell me I don’t need to change anything.

That I am justified in my actions.

I don’t need to grow towards anything better.

I am stuck.

But I choose those to surround myself with.

If I don’t really want truth and growth, I won’t allow people into my circle that won’t let me get away with selfish, ego driven behaviour.

If I stay stuck I do not grow.

I suffer.

And most of all harm myself.

“Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, DEPEND upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.” Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Darkness

It’s sad but there are just people in this world that honour their darkness and just can’t stand their own light.

Darkness is a cancer that spreads.

They are hurt people who continue to hurt people.

Jesus said, “forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Unconsciousness.

People who act and react based on the character created by their past, never gaining awareness of themselves or why they do what they do, create havoc in the lives of others.

What’s worse are those who have awareness of what they do but have no desire to change.

They just stay stuck in their story, their “character”.

You can do nothing to help someone who is unwilling to be helped. That’s when the job is done and it’s time to move on.

Some people just will live out their fate in darkness, living in sickness, and never grow towards anything better.

I’m sad for those people.

As sad as it is to watch, I thank God that it’s not me.

I will never be perfect.

I do however thank God that I have the gift of willingness to strive towards light and truth, that I can reach for solution.

I fight hard everyday to keep the darkness at bay.

I can lay my head down on my pillow and know if there’s no tomorrow, my soul will be at peace.

I loved and served those in front of me the best I could.

I wouldn’t want the alternative.

Thank you God for the lesson so my soul can evolve.

I got the message loud and clear.