Sometimes choices are hard to make. Sometimes I wish I could go through life not knowing what I know. My ego would be happier and I could have the allusion of comfort.
I recently had to make a hard decision to walk away from someone I fell in love with. Making a decision to take a risk to allow myself to be open to the experience of what might happen by spending time with this person was something I chose to do.
It was scary but I decided that the risk was worth it, knowing that this person may not feel the same in the end. What then happened with my heart and spirit wasn’t a choice. It just happened because I was willing and open.
The experience was worth it. I got to feel the feeling of being in love. It turns out that the person I had this experience with was not willing and open. They wouldn’t allow love in. It’s sad.
There were points in time when they would be but then recoil back in fear of being hurt, what “they” would think and of course the unknown future. In the end, I had to decide to settle and stay stuck or to move on.
That decision was not made out of anger, frustration or hurt but out of love. I did it out of love for them and love for myself. It’s always about loving more, never loving less.
The evolution of my soul is between myself and God, just as theirs is. There’s nothing I can do to change it.
As painful as it is at this moment… I am absolutely willing to allow myself to fall in love again.
Isn’t that what life is all about? Love?