Through The Rain

Today it’s raining.

As I sit out in the back yard and watch the rain drops fall, soaking the roof of the house, trees, grass and flowers, it causes me to think about how necessary the rain is for the life flow of the planet.

So it is with the human experience that times of darkness, rain, storm and suffering is necessary for our own ebb and flow of life.

In times where I could not see truth, when I didn’t understand, when I questioned everything in defiance and resistance, through the dark clouds there inevitably came the light of the sun.

With the light came surrender and then an awakening.

I always came out the other side and with more knowledge and consciousness.

No matter what happens, life does go on.

Everything passes.

Although I prefer the upswing that happens after dark times, one can’t exist without the other.

So today I thank the universe for the lessons, for everything, so I can get closer to my creator and know myself better.

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Why Do Some Get And Stay Sober?

No two human experiences are ever the same. There can similarities but really everyone has their own journey maybe only understood by the one having it.

As far as drug addicts and alcoholics, the mystery is how some people get sober young, some old or some never.

Some people get sober and stay sober for their entire life and some get sober and relapse, get sober and relapse.

I can’t even fully answer the question of my own journey. I often wonder what it was about me that just couldn’t get it and keep it.

Even though it has been my path I don’t regret any of it.

I try not to spend too much time “figuring it out”.

Trying to “figure it out” never helped me before.

Staying present is my biggest tool for peace in my life.

What matters to me most now is what I’ve done this far to have a new and different experience with the 12 steps and with life.

I see more now than ever before.

I am more conscious than ever before.

I have more courage, faith, belief, trust, awareness, calm, peace, joy, freedom and hope than ever before.

That is what is important to me today.

Change

Even though I’m always resistant to change, any kind of change whether I’ve labeled it good or bad, it always contains growth.

Most of the time, even if where I’m at isn’t even what I truly want, I would rather stay right where I am rather than initiate or welcome change.

It’s funny.

I look back at all my experiences, I can finally see how each moment, each piece of my life, has been valuable to my journey today.

All change has pushed and challenged me to grow as human being.

Still though, my first response to any type of change is fear.

Then a calm comes over me as I remember that I gave up resisting and turned my will and life over to something I ultimately trust with everything.

There is no need to fear change or anything else because the universe is always guiding me and showing me the way to a better existence.

Today I will welcome change and be fearless in the face of new experiences.

Unconditional Love

I will never feel the love I’ve been looking for by seeking to get it from others. It is by giving love that I feel love.

In the phrase giving love, it hints that it is a verb, an action, not a thing or noun.

Love is in the commitment to the action of being loving.

What that looks like for me is showing up when I say I will, teaching others what I’ve come to know, telling the truth whether someone wants it or not and not having this love be conditionally attached to people’s attitudes, actions and behaviors.

I take myself, my selfish needs and desires out of the equation and do what’s in the best interest of the other person.

Because I could never get any of the things I might be seeking from another anyway, it comes from my all loving creator.

So if I need nothing from you, if you could never take anything away from me by anything you say or do, there comes the love independent of conditions.

The closer I get to knowing this truth, not by my intellectual mind but by experience, the closer I get to feeling the oneness with my creator I have been craving my entire existence.

Powerful

There is nothing more powerful than love.

Nothing more powerful than truth.

Nothing more powerful than God.

What else on the planet can penetrate the thickest walls?

Brighten the darkest corners?

Fill up empty hearts?

Envelop a room, completely unseen, yet felt with an overwhelming warmth?

Make the pain of years melt away?

Bring us to spill tears of joy?

Instantly remove fear?

Gain trust in an instant?

Unify us all?

God=Truth=Love

Today

I am so grateful for this journey as crazy, busy, messy, and just silly as it had been at times.

The beauty is revealed to me as I take moments to sit back and just watch those around me.

Women come into my life when they have hit bottom, beat down, their lives are in turmoil and the problems are stacked high against them, yet they still can relax, have fun, laugh and be silly.

To see them just let go, maybe for the first time in their lives, if for only a few moments, and find the joy in just being totally makes everything worth it.

Everything I went through, the depths of darkness, allows me to relate to others and send a message of hope.

I can say that I have been there, I’ve experienced that and I felt like that but I’m free of it and they can be too.

Just to know that no matter what happens when they leave here, that hopefully they have felt love without any conditions attached, that I’ve done my job of loving them well, is all I can hope for.

Today has been a good day.

It’s Time

I spent my whole life wishing I could just be like everyone else but never quite getting there.

Now, the furthest thing from my wish is wanting to be like everyone else.

I want to think, act and live out of the box.

The box is used to contain us and keep us from ultimate enlightenment and higher consciousness.

One of the main reasons I never felt like others is that I saw what others couldn’t see.

I didn’t know at the time that it was truth that I was seeing but those around me couldn’t.

There needs to be those of us who will withstand the criticism and backlash from those who do not understand and are stuck in their own separate reality, cut off from our creator.

Some of us need to find the courage to shine a light on the darkness.

It is time to come forward and share the message of truth.

It’s time to stand for something.

It’s All The Same Truth

All judgement fell away when I finally saw the truth, that every mythology, every religion, everything based in science, and all spiritual teachings, were saying the same thing but just using different language.

It’s humans that have developed this sense of separation and division, and corrupted the true message.

We are all headed towards the same thing no matter how we describe or qualify it.

And it is my belief that anyone honestly on the search for truth will get there.