In times of suffering and struggle, when we perceive things as bad, wrong, or not how they should be, there are always hidden gifts to be found.
For example, when some of my past relationships had ended, I had a hard time letting go.
With each one, I held onto the pain and confusion having no idea what was behind the inability to let go.
Intellectually I knew that these relationships weren’t working.
Intellectually, I knew it wasn’t what I wanted.
What my mind was telling me was that I missed them terribly because I loved them and getting over it was just a waiting game.
It wasn’t until the last relationship ended that through finally honestly asking God for knowledge and power in this area of my life, had I been granted the gift of awareness that what I really was needing was to work on facing these painful things that were holding me back from a new level of freedom.
I wasn’t awake to the fact that while I loved these people, what I was really missing were those opportunities to loose myself in something else, using them to distract myself from, and avoid the things that at the time were too painful to deal with from within myself.
And that was when I became free of it.
It wasn’t the specific person at all.
My soul was finally ready for this deeper understanding.
My soul was ready to face these things I needed to be free from.
I never would’ve seen this while I was in it.
I thank God for the opportunity through pain and suffering for the chance to know him and myself better.