Don’t Forget, It’s Simple

As I have grown and awakened to truth throughout this life’s journey, as much I have learned, what I know about myself today is that I can easily forget everything.

I can shut myself off from God in a second, stop doing what I have been doing that works and then instead of being driven by spirit, I am driven by ego.

I become closed, ego prevents me from hearing truth and the downward spiral occurs.

Instead of standing in the light with my fellows, I end up standing in darkness alone.

The good news is as soon as I become wiling and open to listen, I again remember why I’m here, what my purpose is and what is really important, like being awakened from a bad dream.

There is no past, no future, just now.

I am not this body nor this character in my story.

I’m not here to for the career, the money, the things, the partner, the friends, the kids, the family or any acknowledgement I may seek to gain from these things.

The main thing that remains constant, the truth I always come back to from all this, is that my only job here on the planet is to love and embody love.

It seems too simple to be true.

It is entirely that simple.

But that’s it.

It’s all about love.

Safe And Protected

The universe always has answers all around me, all the time, to all my questions if I just open my eyes to them.

It’s like these flashing signs screaming for my attention.

When my ego is loud and I’m caught up in expectations, resistance, and personal desires, I can’t see what’s right in front of me.

The more I try to “figure things out” with thinking, the less chance I have to be connected to the answers within.

The answers will not come from my thinking.

Times of quiet meditation, just slowing down altogether and being present, is necessary for knowing which direction to go and what path to take.

In times of indecision, although it’s taken practice and I’m never perfect, I have made progress on not reacting but just waiting until I’m sure of what action to take.

When answers become clear that’s when I need courage.

Courage enables me to step out from fear and into faith and trust, that God has my back no matter what, and I then I can follow what I know to be true.

I feel the power flow through me from a strengthened connection with God when I do this and feel the presence of God all around me.

I feel safe.

Firmly Planted On The Ground

Today I was reading in my morning meditation book about God wanting our heads in the clouds with God but our feet planted firmly on the ground because this is where our work is to be done.

I think all of me was floating in the clouds for most of the first year of my sobriety and I did not want to come down and firmly live as a human on earth.

It was a beautiful experience that I cherish.

However, no matter how much I didn’t want to connect to my human side and come down, it happened anyway.

It feels like I came down hard.

Even though it feels uncomfortable and terribly painful, it is the touchstone of growth.

I heard a song lyric the other day that comforts me and it says, “even the best fall down sometimes”.

I don’t have to be perfect, I am already perfectly perfect just how I am.

If I am to be who God wants me to be and do God’s work then it must be here on earth, connected fully with mind, body and spirit.

This is the new part of my journey and I must remember that I am never alone in this.

God is all around me in every moment, with every breath I take and with every step I make, no matter where I go.

Raising The Bar

The journey of learning how to navigate life here on earth as a sober, conscious and awakened human being has been challenging at times.

Now that I’ve been finally facing the things in my past that have created this character I’ve needed to create to survive on this planet and have driven my thoughts and actions my whole life, I have begun to be free of it little by little.

I wasn’t ready until my soul was ready.

With faith and trust in my creator, I am able to find clarity, make decisions and then act on them with courage.

I can decide today what it is that I want my experience here on earth to look like, and when it’s really close but not quite there, I don’t have to settle out of fear that if I don’t, I’ll never have it.

That’s been my problem my whole life. I’ve settled for almost enough respect, almost enough happiness, almost enough love, almost enough living.

Then slowly but surely the bar got lower and lower and lower until I would accept anything at all.

Finally my life and beliefs got so small that there was no room for hope.

So now I’m in the process of expanding my beliefs about what life can be, setting the bar higher and placing more and more trust in my creator.

My experience so far has amazingly been that life absolutely rises to meet me where I am.

That’s a good reason today for hope.