Seize Every Moment

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“You’ll seldom experience regret for anything that you’ve done. It is what you haven’t done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it.”

Wayne Dyer

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Honoring This Gift

In this period of completing a year sober, I look back on all the people who had at one point been on this journey with me but did not make it.

They have just fallen away from my life, usually back into drugs and alcohol.

I often wonder why me?

I constantly ask God what is it that I’m meant to do on this planet.

I must have a purpose.

Sometimes I feel solid in knowing what that is.

Sometimes I feel lost and I don’t know what God wants from me.

That’s when I’m pushed into seeking more.

At all times when I’m brought to my knees by confusion, lack of answers, loss of direction, sadness and pain, as long as I stay close to my creator, there is the other side awaiting me.

On the other side is more self knowledge, more consciousness and always there is more love.

Whatever the reasons I am still here are, above all else, I honor this gift of life and sobriety today.

1 Year and 1 Day Sober

Yesterday I turned one year sober. I started to write this on the actual day but couldn’t finish it because my day was so full of love, joy, emotion and amazing experiences.

I can’t even seem to put into words all that I am feeling.

To know the change that has occurred in me, to be able to see the woman I have become, to feel my heart full of gratitude for the life I know I have today because of God’s grace and the willingness to allow God to work through me, is something indescribable.

It’s never been about just not using drugs and drinking for me this time.

It’s not been about counting the days behind me that I have collected abstinent from substances that alter me.

It’s been about seeking a relationship with and connecting to this all knowing, all loving creator of everything and everyone.

It’s been about spiritual growth.

It’s been about my soul’s evolution and experiencing a freedom like I’ve never known.

The gift of willingness I have been granted, that you can’t buy or sell, has been graced upon me for what reason I do not know, but I hope to always keep, and has transformed me into the person that God intended me to be.

Today that’s more than enough for me.

Journey To The Truth About Love

My journey of finding out the truth about love has been life changing.

I guess I knew little about the how and the why of it because I picked up all these false beliefs along the way from the world we live in about what love looks like.

I had love categorized into the intimacy kind of love, family love and friendship love.

Forget acquaintances or strangers, I didn’t understand that I could love them as well, that everyone was deserving of love for free just because they existed.

Because our true nature is love, it’s something we inherently already are.

Maybe love is not something to understand is it just something to be.

A flower does not think about how to bloom, nor understand why, it just blooms.

When I speak of how I love others now, independent of who they are or what they do, I can see the looks on those who do not understand as I at one time did not.

Love is not something to possess or to be deserved.

Love is not something that exists to be dependant on how you make me feel, what you give to me, how you affect me nor has anything at all to do with me.

It just is all on it’s own.

The only kind of real love that exists is unconditional love.