It’s really difficult when you live your life as a kind, conscious and caring person, to be constantly confronted with the fact that people are not always that way. When you make a switch to live your life in an effort to not harm others, just as much as your effort to not harm yourself, to not put your needs in front of the well-being of others, there is a reality that sets in, that in these days, you may be the exception.
I am constantly surprised when I am reminded once again that so many people I interact with, are stuck in their own self centeredness. And when I say self-centered, I mean that they can only see the world through the view of their own perspective. Either they truly can’t understand the effects their actions have on others or they lie to themselves and make excuses to continue with bad behavior. Maybe they lack perspective. Maybe they lack compassion. Maybe they’re so fearful they will not get what they want and what they need that, their only goal is to do whatever they need to do to get it.
If there’s one thing that I have learned through experience, it’s that the only way you are going to know who a person is, is by observing their actions, not their words that come out of their mouth. If something is not 100% transparent and 100% the truth, it is 100% a lie. People leave out small details that prevent you from getting the whole picture. The answers you get are never the whole story.
If you knew the true intention behind somebody’s actions, if you knew what they were doing outside of the time they spent with you, and they are not telling you, they wouldn’t get you to do what they want you to do. So they fill you with half truths and a half stories, keep secrets that would influence your actions and yet again you fall into the trap.
Surprised once again although you should know better by now. And you’re angry with yourself. You’re angry because you have faith in somebody who didn’t deserve it and who proved time and time again who they are and you refused to see it.
And being confronted with the whole truth yet again, is like swallowing sand. You are not special to them. You are not unique. You are one among many, playing your part just as the other person designed. There are other players just like you, unaware just like you, that they are being played just like you.
Only the game is rigged because you don’t know all the rules. And the game is not set up for you to come out ahead. The game is set up solely for the other person to get what they want, to feel good about themselves, to get attention and to feel important, all the while, never considering how it affects you.
If they do consider how it affects you, it doesn’t compare to their own desires and needs. So you take yourself out of the game. You just stop playing. You let it go and chalk it up to another lesson that teaches you what not to be, who not to entertain in your life and who is worth your time and energy.
And you hope that this time, you remember it.