Wide Open

My heart is wide open, flowing, like silk curtains blowing in the breeze through a patio door in the summer time.

I feel so much that it fills me up and shines through every cell of my body.

This life is full of wondrous beauty in moments of perfection when I know I am alive and I know exactly what being alive means.

The song of birds chirping in the trees, wind on my face, caressing my arms, as the sun kisses every thing it touches, this is when with feet planted firmly on the ground, I am one with consciousness.

This is connection.

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Inner Peace

No longer do I hold the belief that even though God may exist, God is just something that stands on the sidelines watching everything go down with little involvement in any of it.

God is absolutely everything.

I don’t believe that God can be described or comprehended by our human minds.

I believe God is experiential and felt by the soul.

Nor do I humanize God, giving God a gender, or face, or character.

I believe God transcends all of this.

I believe that I play the small part God has assigned me in a divine plan that I may never see the result from but know in the core of my being is perfect.

When I came to this knowing I could finally relax and experience a earth shaking sigh of relief.

This relief came from the knowledge that it was not all up to me to decide, manage or control and that everyone’s path was uniquely their own.

It was necessary for their own spiritual growth.

Just like mine had been my own and very valuable.

The only thing I can do is love myself and those whose lives I touch, without conditions.

I can finally relax, just be and begin to know inner peace.

And I am also totally fine with the fact that everything I believe could possibly change tomorrow.

 

The Presence of God

When you are truly happy,

and you look back and see that every second in your life was necessary,

that it has brought you to where you are now,

that all of it happened for a reason,

when you know you’ve learned so much from your experiences,

that you cannot be who you are without it,

that you couldn’t have orchestrated it better even you tried,

when you wouldn’t take back a single thing,

when you’ve helped save someone else’s life with a similar story because you survived yours,

when you’ve become grateful for all the joy and all the pain,

you will know the existence of a God that is pure love,

and you will feel the presence of that God in every moment.

The Puzzle

Can I tell you a story?

It’s about a girl who came into this world with the purpose of remembering what she was here to do.

She came from a different dimension, another world and
chose this life, these parents, this place, to fulfill a destiny.

She yearned to know the experience of what it is like to be human.

As time went on, instead of remembering where and from whom she came from and was also equally was a part of it, therefore possessed the ability to create anything she could dream up, she just forgot more and more.

The feeling of separation from where she came from grew and grew as a result of this human character that she created, in an effort to protect her from things that happened to her.

She suffered greatly on this earth for a long time until she could no longer stand the suffering.

She thought she wanted to die but in reality it was her soul wishing for the death of the human part of her.

Eventually that human part cracked just enough to allow an awakening to occur.

Suddenly she saw the world in a different light.

She started to remember.

An outstanding idea presented itself. She could end her suffering, she could just stop resisting.

Like a child with her nose pressed up against a puzzle, therefore not even noticing that it is in fact a puzzle, she could not see that the puzzle pieces created a whole entire image. The pieces being everything that has happened in and around her in her life, and in this world.

As she backed away from the puzzle a breathtaking image of perfection appeared.

Another idea came to her.

Even though at close range she could see how the pieces fit together so perfectly, so effortlessly, just maybe there was more to see, like a puzzle inside of a piece of a much larger puzzle.

A puzzle so large that she might never be able to back away from it enough to see the whole of it.

And for once, that was okay with her.

She was okay with not seeing it all, not knowing it all because there was clearly a divine plan that could, made by the ultimate designer of it all.

If something beyond her comprehension could create such a perfect and beautiful plan, maybe, she just might, be able to place her trust in that. Like allowing yourself to fall into a net that was built to hold you up, and resting in the comfort of the safety of that net.

It was then that stopped resisting.

That was the beginning of this girl letting go.

Breaking The Cycle

Taking an honest look at my past is valuable because it can be used as my doorway to freedom.

I say this because unless I know where I came from and what those experiences taught me about the world I live in, I won’t be able to see how and why I keep recreating it over and over today.

The continual unconscious drive to keep living out the same insanity keeps me in bondage.

Unless and until I become awake to the patterns of my actions and the underlying beliefs behind them, I am unable to make new choices and do something different for a different result.

As a survivor of molestation by someone who was supposed to be my protector, I have continued out that cycle by the choices I have made in my intimate life.

What seemed “normal” to me was that the person who was supposed to protect me was actually my abuser, like a kidnapped victim falling for their kidnapper.

I couldn’t see what was actually happening.

I didn’t understand why this was happening over and over again.

I didn’t know that I was the one who was creating it now.

I have become to see this play out in my life today and now can recognise it much quicker and finally have the awareness to make new choices and take different actions that lead me towards a better existence.

More consciousness develops from this inside work.

I get closer and closer to the life I want.

That is what I call freedom.

Nothingness

image

When i sit in the space of stillness

Drawing myself back in the moment of now

In the quiet

Voices in my mind pass like clouds on a windy day

My thoughts slow down to a stop

Listening to only the sound of my breath

In nothingness I remember the truth

The warmth of what is and has always been surrounds me

Soft vibrations of my being push outward

Going farther and farther up to the cosmos

I am everywhere

I am everything

Spiritual Price Tag

There is a spiritual price to pay for every nonspiritual act.

With this is mind I have yet again been reminded that by holding on to anger, resentment and judgement, I am only harming myself.

When I have these feelings, my actions follow and I don’t get the results I am looking for.

Instead, when not acting from a loving place, I get further from all the things I am looking for.

Letting go of the judgement I still hold against myself, is my focus today.

I still act on the belief I acquired when I was young, that if I were to just do the right things I can solve the problems that lie within the other people in my life.

It’s that old belief that if I just got it right other people would act the way I want them to.

The truth is that people’s actions and attitudes come from within their own beliefs about themselves and their own issues, it has nothing to do with the person I am.

So today I am okay just being who I am and I will allows others to be who they are knowing that the two are completely separate.

I will work on my own spiritual growth and hold forgiveness in my heart.