Feeling Whole

Why is it that I have felt that I needed certain people in my life, whether family, friend or lover?

How had I gotten attached to the idea that I am not okay without them in my life in some form or another?

It seems that I have been looking to others to somehow make me feel whole.

My mother’s love and approval must mean I am a lovable and a good person.

My friends wanting to be around me and share their life with me must mean I am worthy of love and friendship.

My lover wants to be with me therefore I must be attractive, desirable and lovable.

Do I not already know all these things about myself aside from what others see in me?

I was constantly looking to others to know whether or not I was okay with myself.

I was needing without knowing I was needy.

Relationships with others failed or disappointed or worse yet, had me feeling less than instead of the feeling I was seeking which was to be whole.

I was looking to feel whole in places I would never find it.

In reality, I must be whole first to ever come into relationship with others successfully.

I find all that I was seeking to find in others, in building the relationship between myself and my creator.

I finally have a relationship that will never disappointment or lead me astray, that will comfort and love me, and that will give me all that I ever need.

I am free from needing anyone to truly know who I am today.

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Togetherness

Wrapped in strong arms

Holding me tightly

Against your skin I melt

Into the center of your soul

Head tucked under your chin

A gentle touch across my back

Looking up to meet eyes of golden brown

As you look back into mine

My breath is taken from me

Warmth radiates within

In awe of true connection

The essence of beauty

Existing in moments like these

Perfection living in this togetherness

Two souls merge into one

Try This…

Rise above negativity and drama.

When someone you love is suffering, point out the positive in their life, when they can’t do it on their own.

Allow someone else to have the last word.

Be okay with the idea of not knowing what’s best for anyone else and allow them their own experience.

Smile at people you pass on the street.

Ask someone else how they are doing and listen to their response.

Do something kind for someone else without anyone ever knowing it was you.

Don’t take yourself, others and life so seriously.

Find the humor in things and laugh at it all.

Love the people in front of you the best you can.

Tell the ones you love how much you love them while you can.

Kiss and hug as many people as humanly possible.

Thank the universe for another day alive on this planet.

Choose Light

Now, when I surround myself with people, I choose carefully.

I choose those who are going where I want to go or are where I eventually would like to be.

Because I am influenced by the energy of those I have frequent contact with, I always think, does their existence look like what I would want for myself?

Are they generally happy and free?

Are they always in drama, negativity and turmoil?

When I don’t know which way to go, should I take suggestions from those who don’t have the inner peace I seek?

We are like logs in a fire.

If we stay towards the burning flames, we light up.

If we are off to the side in the dark, our light goes out.

I always know where to find the light, the solution, the way out.

It’s up to me to choose.

Friends?

I used to need specific friends in my life. I didn’t know why I loved having them around because I never took a look at why that was.

I just needed them.

I wasn’t conscious of the fact that it was usually people in my life that made me feel a certain way. It could’ve been that they made me feel safe, wanted, needed or better about myself.

Any or all of those things would do.

The point is, I kept them around to get something I needed, unknowingly.

I thought they were good for me.

I thought for the most part, they helped me.

So when they were actually harming me, I couldn’t see it.

Sometimes it was as subtle as constant manipulative influence through harmful advice or opinions.

Sometimes it wasn’t so subtle like lashing out when they didn’t get their way or just dropping me when they had something else that was more important to them.

Even though when they felt scared that someone else in my life may have been threatening their relationship with me, and they would manipulate the situation, they may or may not have been conscious to it.

Neither was I.

Did they honestly have my best interest at heart?

Or were they just unaware of what they were doing, like I was.

I would either just get over it or make excuses to myself, just so I didn’t have to loose them.

Because I could imagine my life without them.

In the same way I needed them for something I was getting out of it, they were doing the same thing.

Today through relying on God instead of people and actively working on doing all things with love, I can love others without needing them.

I can see it in others when they may be saying or doing things that could harm me because I can see it in myself.

Mirrors Of Truth

The struggle ego drives against allowing truth to be heard can at times be much stronger than others, especially when off center.

Ego doesn’t have to win though.

Ego wants us alone, isolated. It wants us to view ourselves as separate, different. It wants to keep us afraid, especially of closeness to others.

There are people that come into our lives that encourage us to be and do better. They encourage us to continue to grow, even when our mind has us in its grip and fights it. They carry the light for us when we feel like we can’t.

As uncomfortable as it can be because ego always wants to be in charge, when someone speaks truth, our soul hears it.

We recognize truth not from the specific person speaking it but because it is already within us. They just are a mirror of the truth we already know.

But we need those mirrors so we can be reminded when we forget. Those people placed around us who work to raise consciousness are gifts of the universe to hold close.

Ego wants us anywhere but the present because everything we need is there. In the present moment there is nothing to fear. The people we love are in the present. God is in the present.  Yet ego refuses to look in right here and now for completeness because it can’t survive there.

There is nothing in future moments that will make us whole, yet we rush to them chasing that lie.  If we just get this thing, that amount of money, approval from “them”, job security, the right partner, ego says then we will feel complete.  

We get these things and sure enough, wholeness is not found.  

Ego just wants something more.

But we are only ever in the here and now.

Completeness and wholeness is right here, in this moment.

And that is the truth.

Match Made In Heaven

I’m so thankful you have come into my life

You’ve allowed my love in

And showed me how to love more

Teaching me so much about life

And letting me teach you about freedom

Every day with you is magic

All that I’ve ever wanted I’ve been granted

Your words full of wisdom

The way you live is what I strive to be

We come together in perfect balance

A match made in heaven

Growing Roots

image You are the stars in my eyes

Open as the seas thousands of miles from shore

Solid as the ground the stops our fall

The soil I would grow roots in

More than just a dream that wakes me smiling

A breeze that sweeps me up into the heavens

The flutter of butterfly wings in my chest

The eloquent words I’ve been searching to find

Spoken from your mouth with such grace

A beautiful example I would follow anywhere

The soft light in a tunnel of darkness

A new blessing in my life I’ve been waiting for

All along having no doubt that someday we would meet

In the here and now is where we’ve found each other

In the present is where we find love

When Our Eyes Meet

Sparks when our eyes meet

Energy ignites when I touch your hand

I see into your soul

The beauty that lies within

You move me with your wisdom

Your gentle nature invites me in

I’ve needed a teacher and then there was you

An answered prayer

You and I flow effortlessly

There’s so much we have to learn

And I’m paying attention to every second