Nothing Left To Loose

Much has changed
Some things haven’t

Thoughts of you are like being in a house of mirrors
Which ever I way I turn
I face reality without you
It comes and goes like waves

For a long time I don’t think of you…
Until I do

Waking up
sometimes
I wonder where you are
Are you thinking of me?
Do I think of you because somewhere, out there, I can tell I am on your mind?
You rejected me
Not once
Not twice
Too many times to count
The blades of each time scarred me
And my chest carries the weight of life without you
So heavy
Merciless

Like an unwanted visitor
You invade my peace at night
when the moon shines on my dreams
Some days
On the street
you are in every face
I deleted all photos of you
But I forget and search my phone anyway
Why did I do that?
I then remember
Photos with your face next to mine
The smell of your skin
Reminds me that it all is no longer there
That it never was there, or anywhere
Like a moving image
That dissipated and dissolved into nothingness

But it all still lives there my heart
And your not here to feel it

Your truth is yours to keep
And I have no judgement
There is no anger, no resentment
You’ve done nothing wrong
If I weren’t in the story
I would champion your search
I would tell you to never to give up
I would admire your determination

After all, I have it that determination too
We are alike in that way

And my truth is…
I stay away
Because
I never again wish to be second best to anyone
To never feel the burn of rejection
To be the one, the only one

To stare into the gaze of the one I am with and see nothing behind their eyes but a knowing that I am the one they want

I won’t waiver on that
So there is no bridge to cross
No ground to meet in the middle
It’s the same old stalemate

No doubt
Just love

 

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Born of the Stars

I’ve loved you 1000 years
A thousand hugs
A thousand jokes
A thousand laughs
A thousand smiles
A thousand joys
A thousand triumphs
A thousand struggles
A thousand victories
A thousand tears
A thousand heartaches
A thousand unanswered questions
A thousand fears
A thousand hopes
A thousand disappointments
A thousand broken wings
A thousand tantrums
A thousand “why”s
A thousand lifetimes I’ve walked away because you would never give 100 percent of your heart and just 1 commitment… to see that we were meant to be, born of the stars, you and me.

Leaves on a tree

Soulmates are like leaves on the branch of a tree.

All leaves are from the one tree but the ones on a specific branch are the ones closest.

These souls from the same branch meet again and again in different lifetimes.

Often one will recognize the other, but sometimes it’s only the one, and the other does not or cannot see.

It is up to each soul when confronted with the other to recognize it but also it matters most what they do with it.

Sometimes fear will get in the way and as a result the souls never fulfill their destiny.

One knows it, the other chooses to walk away, missing out on following through with the union.

Great heart break is felt by the soul who is awakened, great suffering is felt by the one who is not.

Either way, the soul will keep repeating the meeting again and again, lifetime after lifetime, until it chooses to open its eyes to the truth.

 

The Lost Little Soul

And out of the blue, and angel appeared. The little soul, lost in darkness, recognized the light shining from the angel with blue eyes so bright, so untouched by the evils of this world.

The little soul asked the Angel questions, “How do I escape all this darkness? How do I leave a life I so much do not want to be in? Tell me everything!”

The Angel answered in a soft voice, “Everything you seek is within you, if you want to leave this darkness then take my hand and I will show you the way out.”

The little soul was afraid, darkness is all it ever knew. But the one thing it did know, beyond a doubt, was that it knew this Angel very well. They had met before in another life and fate or destiny brought them together again, at the time the little soul needed her most.

And every soul has free will, to do as it pleases, to choose light or to choose dark. Frozen in indecision, the soul did not choose. But not choosing, is a choice, and so the Angel moved on, tears of sadness streaming down her cheeks as she left the little soul behind but the Angel understood the importance of choice.

To this day, the Angel dreams of the day they will reunite, in this life or the next, as kindred spirits always do, and waits at the bottom of the tree of wisdom, picking daisies, for the choice to finally be made.

Miles

Miles I have traveled see you
To know you
A journey of self discovery
To be ready for the experience of you

Things I had to learn
To know myself and be free
Blues eyes mirroring amber brown
Your smile, your gentle nature

Your soul on your sleeve
A light in the crowd
Loosing myself when we’re near
Energy not to be denied

Your scared I know
But what we fear we attract
Life is in the living
So fear not for everything comes from God

The gift is in acceptance of what is
Taking what he gives
Opening up our hearts
Is what it’s all about

Take the risk
Roll the dice
Luck is on our side
I’m waiting over here just for you

Growing Roots

image You are the stars in my eyes

Open as the seas thousands of miles from shore

Solid as the ground the stops our fall

The soil I would grow roots in

More than just a dream that wakes me smiling

A breeze that sweeps me up into the heavens

The flutter of butterfly wings in my chest

The eloquent words I’ve been searching to find

Spoken from your mouth with such grace

A beautiful example I would follow anywhere

The soft light in a tunnel of darkness

A new blessing in my life I’ve been waiting for

All along having no doubt that someday we would meet

In the here and now is where we’ve found each other

In the present is where we find love

The Change Must Come From Within

My soul aches for the lesson of you.

 

Ego seeks to control and manage against what is.

 

Glimpses of perfection hang in the air like the scent of you after your gone.

 

Brief moments of freedom when nothing mattered in the world but the two of us.

 

No clamour of the past or noise of the future.

 

My reality based on perception instead perception creating what I see.

 

Was any of it really what I believed?

 

Or was the story mine alone?

 

Wanting to make something what it will not be.

 

Sending light across time and space in hopes to heal a heart that is not mine to heal.

 

Wishing the switch to turn on the fuel to ignite your flame to burn as bright as it’s meant to be.

 

Waiting for your words and actions to mirror back at me what I feel for you.

 

Exhausted by indecision.

 

Needing to just be truly seen by you.

 

Tears fall on my pillow.

 

Wishing, wanting and needing cannot free a heart from the bondage of it’s past.

 

The change must come from within.

 

 

 

 

Mind, Body and Spirit

Brilliant Indigo

Looking into your eyes I see everything you are and everything you are becoming

Shutting off my thoughts and I feel you aim straight at my heart

There can be no greater closeness that exists

When you and I are together in this present moment

It cannot be denied, camouflaged or avoided

What is real and true is this feeling that nothing on this earth can exceed

The feeling of being connected in mind, body and spirit

Something that should be honoured for the rare gift that it is

The most sacred experience of human life

This thing is an undeniable, overflowing, overpowering, deep, indescribable and pure love

A love that will not ever be done justice by words

Perfect Alignment

In moments still and calm when only the stars speak to the moon

When birds sing in the midnight air

Braided weave of arms and legs

Spinning from gentle affection

Hanging on every word

Godly eyes mirroring each other

No thoughts but only an overwhelming feeling

Souls dancing in perfect alignment

Fingers brushing cheeks, ears and mouths

Lips meet softer than the breeze of summer

Two breathing each other in

No walls and hearts are exposed

Egos left at the door

And in this moment

Love and all of it’s wonder exists in perfection freedom