What’s in a word?

I used to take words so literally, assigning very specific meanings, ideas and concepts to words I heard in someone’s speech or read in someone’s writing.

All these beliefs came from my conditioned mind and I never thought to question the judgements that came along with words, so much of my past influencing them.

It wasn’t until I had been awakened that I started getting caught up in my own use of words.

I still find myself seeking for just the right ones, but with so much history attached to certain kinds of language, I’m at a loss of which ones to use.

But there are no “right” words.

Because they are just words.

With this struggle to find words to describe the truth that I understand today, because of my old rigid standards and definitions attached to them, it became less about words and more about truth behind them.

When I listen to people now, or read or listen to spiritual teachings that use different types of language, I listen for what’s behind the words.

I pay attention to the energetic vibration or feeling intended.

I now just use words interchangeably.

It’s not so much about the language used.

For example, sometimes I say God, the universe, soul, spirit, being or knowing.

It try not to get stuck on one way of describing ideas.

I’m open minded and flexible.

It matters less to me now than ever, because truth is truth no matter how it’s expressed.

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Surrender and Clarity

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After every period of suffering, resistance and pain lies the rainbow of clarity, if only I look up from the ground to the sky to see it.

The path to awakening, for this girl, consists of constant shifts in perspective. Often times I get stuck in a way of perceiving the world around me that is not based in truth.

I don’t even know it’s happening.

It sneaks up on me and I can’t see it, because the more my spirit evolves, so does my ego. It has to because of the laws of the universe, the yin and the yang or Einstein’s theory of relativity.

The more evolved the soul, the more evolved the ego.

My ego (basically everything that comes from my thinking) is always evolving and changing as I do, finding new ways to infiltrate, override and confuse what my soul knows.

It is not my friend.

The “problem” if there is such a thing, is not in what is, no matter what is happening around me, but always lies in my perception of what is.

So I go to my spiritual teacher to help me see what sometimes I cannot, someone who tells me the truth. Though my ego will try fight, deny or rationalize, my soul hears it. As long as I have one thing on my side, my ego cannot win.

That indispensable thing is willingness.

Willingness allows me to hear her and to have the other things on my side that save me being owned by my mind. Those things are honesty, humility and open mindedness.

I have a chance, with all these gifts, to move towards clarity, truth and freedom.

And freedom from being chained by anything or anyone, is what I’ve always sought.

Someone said to me recently that after a tough time and then major surrender, they set out to make God their everything, to get everything they had realized they were still seeking in the outside world from God.

When they did that, a transformation occurred, bringing amazing freedom and gifts like none other.

When they said that, my soul heard it.

And now that has been my new intention.

Excellence

I will not walk away
Nor will I run
You need do not a thing
To deserve my love

A mirror of beauty
Lighting up the dark places
With purity of heart
Brimming with angelic energy

Eyes that expose truth
Words of compassion
Courage of storybook heroes
Spirit bursting to be free

A shooting star
The rain that falls
Shelter from harm
Precious moments
Not to be forgotten

You are a piece of God
Imperfect excellence
A soul in human form
Finding your way like me

Answers

All the answers I need are within me.

How do I find my place in the world? How do I find and understand my purpose?

First I must become aware of which voice is the voice of my being. I must learn to not identify with and allow my thinking to get in the way of hearing the voice of my being.

I must listen and have the courage to follow the part of me that can do no other.

And it does take courage.

Do I have what it takes to not do what everyone would tell me to do and take the road less traveled?

Instead of resisting what I know, to find my purpose and learn what I must learn to fulfill my destiny, I must to stop judging and resisting.

My purpose may not at this time be on such a grand scale. Sometimes it starts small.

I will never understand the tiny part I play in this master plan. But what I do can cause a ripple than can have the affect of a tidal wave.

By building within myself, the effect on those around me paying attention can be magnificent.

Maybe I’m teaching a future leader of many to love without conditions.

Maybe I’m teaching someone about small acts of courage.

Maybe I could be showing someone how to find God.

A smile, being there for someone, reaching out with love, a kind gesture, loving actions, raise the vibration of everyone in the energetic vacinity.

I can never know how acting out of love without fear will serve humanity and that’s okay.

All I must do is stay present to see with my soul where I should be and what to do now.

The answers will come, but not in tomorrow, next week or anywhere in the future where I will never be.

They are all here right now, if I only look for them.

Allow It All To Be

Let down your tired walls
Release from holding tight
Melt into the warm embrace
Of truth, love and miracles

Forget all you know
Be free of old ideas
Trust what happens to be
Don’t be scared of now

Be all in
It’s what your spirit craves
Faith lies in the arms of love
Allow your soul happiness

Let out the light of your being
Give of yourself freely
Connect without fear
Freedom lies in this

Step into what’s real
If there is such a thing
You’ll get what you ask for
The universe is your playground

Knowledge and Power

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God grant me knowledge and power.

Help me to quiet my mind and see with my soul.

Allow my knowing to be clear and give me the courage and power to carry out your will.

Help me be loving and tolerant of others.

Please remove my fears.

Help me to forget everything I think I know for a new experience today.

Help me remain humble and teachable.

Help me to be in the moment so that I may experience the beauty and joy that exists all around me.

Help me to always look at the world with childlike wonder.

Keep me from retreating, holding back and being closed off from loving and caring for others.

Help me to be open to what is.

Keep me from being locked in this idea of self and see where I can be of help to those I may reach.

Allow me to release my past and who I think I am so I may grow towards who I am meant to be.

Give me courage to live in and speak truth unattached to the result.

God please just for today, replace my fears and resentments with trust and belief in your will for me.

May thy will and mine be one.

Hard To Be Human

It’s hard to be human most of the time. When awakened and all of the awareness and intuition floods in, the thinking mind works even harder to block it, figure it out and keep us from the truth.

A pattern I have been trying to break for a long time is denying the truth I know because my mind doesn’t want it to be true.

Why?

Because my mind is a place full of fear about what is. It then projects a future that either unrealistic fantasy or tragedy. In judgement about what is, my mind labels the present as “good” or “bad”. Obviously when it goes the way I want the judgement computes as “good”.

When it doesn’t, it appears to be “bad”.

It tells me that this is not supposed to happen or I would be better off, happier, if it would just would happen the way I think it should.

Never does it tell me that what’s happening is happening because it’s meant to, that not only are things unfolding in a divine way that is beyond what I will understand but that I need understand nothing.

Again, this incessant need to understand is from my thinking mind. And there are no answers there.

My soul just wants to experience.

So thinking is my only problem, all thinking. Without judgement there are really no “problems”.

The struggle is when to do and when to not do.

What can I change by doing and what matters little in this unfolding of the universe?

Again I am brought back to the only answers I know at this point, unconditional love, courage, living truth, being present and being the light.

Mirrors Of Truth

The struggle ego drives against allowing truth to be heard can at times be much stronger than others, especially when off center.

Ego doesn’t have to win though.

Ego wants us alone, isolated. It wants us to view ourselves as separate, different. It wants to keep us afraid, especially of closeness to others.

There are people that come into our lives that encourage us to be and do better. They encourage us to continue to grow, even when our mind has us in its grip and fights it. They carry the light for us when we feel like we can’t.

As uncomfortable as it can be because ego always wants to be in charge, when someone speaks truth, our soul hears it.

We recognize truth not from the specific person speaking it but because it is already within us. They just are a mirror of the truth we already know.

But we need those mirrors so we can be reminded when we forget. Those people placed around us who work to raise consciousness are gifts of the universe to hold close.

Ego wants us anywhere but the present because everything we need is there. In the present moment there is nothing to fear. The people we love are in the present. God is in the present.  Yet ego refuses to look in right here and now for completeness because it can’t survive there.

There is nothing in future moments that will make us whole, yet we rush to them chasing that lie.  If we just get this thing, that amount of money, approval from “them”, job security, the right partner, ego says then we will feel complete.  

We get these things and sure enough, wholeness is not found.  

Ego just wants something more.

But we are only ever in the here and now.

Completeness and wholeness is right here, in this moment.

And that is the truth.

Today I Will

I will give to the greater good today

I will turn away from selfish desires and be there for someone else

I won’t identify with every passing thought because it is not who and what I am

I will listen to my heart not my mind

I will trust that I have all the answers I need within me

I will give all of myself withholding nothing

I won’t try to manage, manipulate and control my environment or the people around me

I will be compassionate, tolerant and loving to those around me

I will look pass the characters people play and look for and speak to their souls

I will be gentle on myself

I will create something amazing today

I will shine light into darkness

I will give someone else hope

I won’t live in the past nor let the past decide my future

I will break old patterns of behaviour and do something different

I will learn something new

I will stay in the beauty of the present

I will slow down

I won’t rush to the next moment

I will allow others to help me today

I will allow love in