“This is what I know for sure, you don’t get what you wish for, you don’t even get what you hope for. You get what you believe.”
I’m a writer.
Because I say I am.
Because I believe I am.
Because I write.
Because I have something to say and the best way I know how to say it is to write it.
Not that I’m not good with being verbal, because I am.
But I’m better when I write it down.
I don’t need to be paid for it.
I do it for free.
I do it because I have a passion for it.
Because I love it.
Because I know I’m supposed to.
I write about what I know.
And what do I know better than my own experience?
What could I possibly know better than the story of my life?
What do I know better than what happens all around me?
I write about what needs to be said.
I write the truth.
Harsh at times, loving at times, confusing at times, but always the truth.
Love it, hate it, accept it or deny it.
Just know this, words hold a lot of power, written or spoken, texted or tweeted.
And these words are written just for you.
I see you.
I see your soul.
I see past the mask and the character, the shortcomings and all of your humanness.
I see myself in you, and you in me.
We are the same you and I, just decorated a bit differently on the outside.
I know you.
Maybe better than YOU know you.
And you’re very much okay.
It’s all going to be okay.
What a better way to remind you, just in case you forget, than etching these written words in this very place, to be part of history, so when you forget you can re-read them.
You can come back to find these very words.
By a writer.
There’s so much beauty in the world.
It’s in every moment.
Only if I’m constantly looking back into the past or planning, worrying or stressing about the future, I can’t see the beauty and amazement that lies in what’s right in front of me.
Some say life is tough.
They say it’s supposed to be hard.
I’ve thought that before.
I think it is hard if you believe it is supposed to be hard.
I am eternally thankful that I’ve had a different experience now.
I’m more free now than ever before, not because life has gone or suddenly started going my way but because I gave up resisting everything and everyone.
I strive to remain present.
By giving up resistance I find I don’t need to suffer.
How can I judge what’s happening when I can’t see the end result?
What my experience tells me is that allowing what is to just be, I am happier, calmer, more peaceful and joyous.
Living in gratitude for what I have just brings more into my life.
The universe comes to me and my life just becomes a whole lot better.
I release you to the universe
It’s arms open wide
Where peace I wish you to find
With the eternal comfort of home
As I leave you to fly on your own
Because it’s time for my own path
My final gift to you is the truth you seek
Listen closely with an open heart
Answers you seek and wish me to tell
Can’t replace the experience
your soul demands
For you to discover who you are and will be
On this brief journey called life
You are the creator of your reality
Just as your creator intended it to be
Free will is the gift you were given
Choice is the variable that leaves your path yet to be seen
This above all else is the truth you should know
Your primary purpose is to serve your creator
As we are you and you are us
Let that be your guide in all you do
Work to achieve for money, acceptance and admiration
Seeking for the objective of self
And all you build will crumble again and again
Like quicksand beneath your feet
Serve God above all else
Go within for it’s there you will find what your made of
Everything you could ever need and want
You will be blessed in miracles
Your light will explode
Igniting change for the better
Raising the hopes of the world
Leading many as you travel
Do everything with love
It will be your trusted compass
Do not fear but find courage to stand on your own
Warriors of truth often stand alone
My freedom is directly proportionate to the amount of trust I place in God’s hands.
The extent to which I feel responsibility over other people in work, family and friendship interactions, is a direct result of what role I believe God has all of this.
God is in charge or I feel it falls on me.
It’s one or the other.
If I understand that God is pure love, an unlimited force with a plan far greater than anything I could begin to comprehend, that what I would think should happen is extremely, extremely limited, then I can keep my eyes on my own growth and allow what is meant to be to unfold.
Sometimes that seems to look to me like chaos, unnecessary pain or just plain ignorance on other people’s part.
When I can let go of the self centered belief that I am responsible for others and what happens in the world around me, I allow God in.
I can breath.
I can experience peace.
I can be present in the moment.
All of the weight in the world can be lifted off my shoulders and I can be free.
Letting go of everything I think I know about the world and how things should be has been the most amazing gift.
I must continue to seek and surrender.
Today I will slow down, listen to the voice of God within me and do what’s presented to me.
Everything else I will let go of.
Today I will allow God in and push ego out.
How quickly I can forget how bad the road was that led me to my bottom. I can forget all kinds of things pretty quickly. If only my last bottom was enough to motivate me to continuously grow spiritually and protect myself from sliding back to a road that eventually leads to relapse.
The problem with relapse, and I’ve experienced it too many times, is that I can’t see it coming until it’s usually too late. Nothing anyone says gets through to me because I am by then, blocked from God and the ways in which God speaks to me through others.
If I go back further, I have lost my willingness to take action that can lift me out of my suffering.
Back even further than that, I have lost my connection, faith and trust in God.
Or maybe I never had it to begin with.
The most important factor for me this time is that I have a concept of God that I can trust with every aspect of my life. I must always put serving God first, or I have nothing.
I spent a lot of time coming to terms with what I figured a concept I could trust would be, just to begin with. And since then, with just a beginning, that concept is constantly changing and evolving.
I can’t give up trying to manage and control the world unless I believe there is something far more capable than me already doing so, with my and everyone else’s best interests at heart.
I can’t let go of one thing without the faith of something far better, if I have no faith that things are removed from me for a good reason.
If I stay on this road of faith, even through what appears to be the worst of times, there is always something better. All I have to do is look back on my life to see why things had to happen the way they did, to bring me to the beauty of today.
If I really take a good look around me, with the vision of gratitude, life is pretty terrific today, just as it is.