Becoming

“It is the light that encourages the flower to open up to the world.”

I see that all things must be done in love if I am to remember all the things I already know but forgot when I entered this human life and grow towards who and what I am.

If I am not acting out of love then I am acting out of fear.

It’s as simple as those two things.

We came from the ultimate love and love is what we are, and we are perfect just the way we are.

It’s why we want to love.

But to experience who we are and what we want to be, we must do what we don’t want to do.

We can’t know ultimate joy without ultimate pain.

We can’t know hot without cold.

We can’t know the power of our light without darkness.

We can’t know that we don’t want to hurt others unless we know the heartache of causing it.

It’s all part of the lesson, the becoming, the end result, neither good nor bad.

It’s what we are here to do.

Don’t judge yourself for the journey of finding out who you truly are.

You are in the process of coming closer to knowing your perfection and magnificence.

I, just like God, love you just as you are.

And like God, there is nothing you could do that could change that.

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What Surrender, Again?

There are no coincidences in this experience called human life. Every second orchestrated in beautiful harmony whether we can see it in this present moment or not.

I’ve been very physically sick, sicker than I’ve been in a long, long time. For the last few days it’s been constant suffering. There still seems no end in sight. It came on like a storm out of the blue.

It has forced me to slow down and just be. Though at this very time my ego has been feeling it quite inconvenient. I cannot go run and do a million things to avoid myself.

I can’t do much of anything except talk (and that is difficult), read and do some writing.

Why is this perfect timing?

I’ve lost someone I love.

Today I should’ve started the gift of my new position at work.

I’ve had to allow people to help me. Those I typically help, I’ve had to lean on to help me, which is still a work in progress for me.

I’ve had to say no to people.

Although I’m finding life today is not how I would’ve liked to see it, and add to it being physically hurting and ill, this is actually the perfect time.

I have been “encouraged” by the universe to delve deeper within.

And so I have.

This feeling of complete and utter surrender, being out of answers, no resistance, giving up everything I think I know, exhausted and at the mercy of all that is in this moment, is a familiar feeling I’ve felt before.

Uncomfortable as it is, I feel the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders, again. Weight I never knew I had been carrying, yet again.

I can look back at all the growth and beauty that grew from this experience in the past and believe that it’s about to happen again.

Because I have awareness today.

Because I trust.

Because I am open.

Because I am willing.

Love and Fear

In the book Conversations With God, Neale Walsh writes his answer from God about the two deepest emotions that motivate humans – love and fear.

“And here is how human behavior produces repeat experience after repeat experience; it is why humans love, then destroy, then love again: always there is the swing from one emotion to the other. Love sponsors fear sponsors love sponsors fear.

And the reason is found in the first lie—the lie which you hold as the truth about God—that God cannot be trusted; that God’s love cannot be depended upon; that God’s acceptance of you is conditional; that the ultimate outcome is thus in doubt. For if you cannot depend on God’s love to always be there, on whose love can you depend? If God retreats and withdraws when you do not perform properly, will not mere mortals also?

And so it is that in the moment you pledge your highest love, you greet your greatest fear.

For the first thing you worry about after saying “I love you” is whether you’ll hear it back. And if you hear it back, then you begin immediately to worry that the love you have just found, you will lose. And so all action becomes a reaction—defense against loss—even as you seek to defend yourself against the loss of God.

Yet if you knew Who You Are—that you are the most magnificent, the most remarkable, the most splendid being God has ever created—you would never fear. For who could reject such wondrous magnificence? Not even God could find fault in such a being.”

Excellence

I will not walk away
Nor will I run
You need do not a thing
To deserve my love

A mirror of beauty
Lighting up the dark places
With purity of heart
Brimming with angelic energy

Eyes that expose truth
Words of compassion
Courage of storybook heroes
Spirit bursting to be free

A shooting star
The rain that falls
Shelter from harm
Precious moments
Not to be forgotten

You are a piece of God
Imperfect excellence
A soul in human form
Finding your way like me

A Single Match

Today I stand in the light

My light

A single match lit with it’s flame burning brightly

Navigating through winds and rain

Storms though dramatically breathtaking

Eventually extinguish even roaring fires

Shielding from the elements to keep my glow

Small and unimportant

Yet resting on such responsibility

Leaning against other matches to ignite the torch of awareness

Brightening the path upward and onward for more to find their way

When dark is only the vacancy of hope

Cold the absence of love

Emptiness the lacking of God

Knowing that place very well

This tiny match pushes on from the repeating the past

And finds it’s home in the warm embrace of truth