It’s In The Actions

What I’m left with, at the end of the day, is the relationship I have with myself and God.

I now know what it means to live this human existence by spiritual principles.

I’ve been around enough now to be able to talk about it, explain it, theorize about it and intellectually know how it works.

But when it comes down to living it, right here and right now, do I actually do these things?

Do I live with integrity and honesty?

Do I lie to myself or am I honest with myself?

Do I constantly judge myself, beating myself up for meeting the unrealistic expectations I hold myself to?

Can I forgive myself for being human today?

When someone I’m faced with affects me in a way that I don’t like, do I treat them with tolerance and patience?

Do I relax into the fact that no one can hurt me or take anything from me without my allowing it, therefore allowing people to just be who they are with the security of knowing that I’m okay no matter what?

When things don’t go my way, do I get angry and frustrated, trying to manipulate and control people?

Do I accept those in my life for who they are and can I look for the good in everyone?

Is my love conditional?

Have I said what I need to say today, would my soul be at peace if I had no tomorrow?

Do I live in fear of not getting what I want and is what I think I need to be okay lie in the material world?

Or do I live in a world where things of importance or the things you can’t see, like inner peace, joy, love without conditions and freedom?

Do I focus on what I can give rather than what I can take?

These are some of the questions I ask myself daily to remind myself that I cannot intellectualize my way into freedom.

Freedom lies in the actions I take in the present moment.

Freedom lies in right now.

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The Presence of God

When you are truly happy,

and you look back and see that every second in your life was necessary,

that it has brought you to where you are now,

that all of it happened for a reason,

when you know you’ve learned so much from your experiences,

that you cannot be who you are without it,

that you couldn’t have orchestrated it better even you tried,

when you wouldn’t take back a single thing,

when you’ve helped save someone else’s life with a similar story because you survived yours,

when you’ve become grateful for all the joy and all the pain,

you will know the existence of a God that is pure love,

and you will feel the presence of that God in every moment.

Raising The Bar

The journey of learning how to navigate life here on earth as a sober, conscious and awakened human being has been challenging at times.

Now that I’ve been finally facing the things in my past that have created this character I’ve needed to create to survive on this planet and have driven my thoughts and actions my whole life, I have begun to be free of it little by little.

I wasn’t ready until my soul was ready.

With faith and trust in my creator, I am able to find clarity, make decisions and then act on them with courage.

I can decide today what it is that I want my experience here on earth to look like, and when it’s really close but not quite there, I don’t have to settle out of fear that if I don’t, I’ll never have it.

That’s been my problem my whole life. I’ve settled for almost enough respect, almost enough happiness, almost enough love, almost enough living.

Then slowly but surely the bar got lower and lower and lower until I would accept anything at all.

Finally my life and beliefs got so small that there was no room for hope.

So now I’m in the process of expanding my beliefs about what life can be, setting the bar higher and placing more and more trust in my creator.

My experience so far has amazingly been that life absolutely rises to meet me where I am.

That’s a good reason today for hope.

Change

Even though I’m always resistant to change, any kind of change whether I’ve labeled it good or bad, it always contains growth.

Most of the time, even if where I’m at isn’t even what I truly want, I would rather stay right where I am rather than initiate or welcome change.

It’s funny.

I look back at all my experiences, I can finally see how each moment, each piece of my life, has been valuable to my journey today.

All change has pushed and challenged me to grow as human being.

Still though, my first response to any type of change is fear.

Then a calm comes over me as I remember that I gave up resisting and turned my will and life over to something I ultimately trust with everything.

There is no need to fear change or anything else because the universe is always guiding me and showing me the way to a better existence.

Today I will welcome change and be fearless in the face of new experiences.

Powerful

There is nothing more powerful than love.

Nothing more powerful than truth.

Nothing more powerful than God.

What else on the planet can penetrate the thickest walls?

Brighten the darkest corners?

Fill up empty hearts?

Envelop a room, completely unseen, yet felt with an overwhelming warmth?

Make the pain of years melt away?

Bring us to spill tears of joy?

Instantly remove fear?

Gain trust in an instant?

Unify us all?

God=Truth=Love

First Thing’s First

The problem of being stuck in self was the root of all my problems.

When I all I think about is how I am going to manage in this world, how I am going to have money, security, a career, friends, lovers, having fun, safety and everything else I can obsess about, the result is misery.

For me everything goes back to the relationship I have with my creator. If I trust this thing, if I believe it is always by my side, guiding and protecting me, then I have much less fear about life and my place in it.

I have surrendered to the fact that I am here to do the will of my creator first and not my own.

That doesn’t mean I don’t get to have an amazing life. In fact the more I put others first and serve my creator and humanity, the more my life steadily improves.

It sometimes feels like getting out of self is against my natural inclination. However it is only my ego that fights it, not the ultimate nature of my being.

I just continually do all I can to keep the gift of my awakening alive and take actions to not slip backwards into unconsciousness.

It works, it really does.

11 Months

Today marks eleven months of sobriety without any mind altering substances.

Coming to believe in an all loving creator has transformed everything about me. Building a relationship with my creator, placing my life in his hands and slowly walking step by step, hand in hand with faith, has made this last eleven months the most amazing time in my life.

It has been full of triumphs and heartache. I have had moments of feeling lost and moments of bliss.

That’s the human experience.

Most of all, I finally have the solid belief that anything is possible and limits have seemed to fall away.

Continually I learn, grow and awaken.

How could I not be grateful for my life as it is today compared to how I’ve lived before this?

Plan of the Universe

Sometimes God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

I believe when things, people or situations are removed from us, this happens to make room for the new. If I look back I can see that this always happens in my best interest.

When I cannot let get go of something, if it’s time for it to be over, it is literally removed from me.

As long as I get into acceptance and surrender, there may be pain but suffering is optional.

The universe lays out the path for me and by staying present I can hear the answers and see what is presented for me to do.

None of this matters though if it’s only in theory. Unless I have trust in a higher power, what I call it is irrelevant, then how can I let go of trying to manage and control everything around me?

How can I allow the universe to come to me and find peace in the chaos of the world surrounding me?

I am blessed with the life I have been given today.

Thank you God for everything, the lessons, the pain, the joy, the gifts and the miracles.

Everything is exactly as it should be.