Insanity

It’s hard not to get swallowed up by the insanity of it all.

When life gets crazy and people get crazy, I just need to stayed firmly grounded in my center. Fear pervades these humans around me and I see all the damage it creates. Fear creates all harm on this planet. It’s the root of it all, which I equate with the darkness.

People hurt other people with the things they do and say. Respect and kindness gets lost. Anxiety increases and ripples through everyone involved. Anger and frustration rise.

Blame gets thrown in all the wrong places, though there never is a “right place” to throw it.

All I can ever do is rest in the fact that I am true to myself, that I do the best I can, that I respect those around me, and I do the right thing. I am unwilling to let the chaos suck me in. I refuse to take on the fear that others try to pass on.

I stay in love and in peace knowing that people will be okay, even when going through emotionally hard times. I always ended up okay, and so will everyone else.

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Story of the favorite shoes

But you’ve grown
Those shoes don’t fit
Favorite shoes, I know
You loved them
For so long

They were comfortable
And safe, and snug and right
The exact shoes you always imagined you’d wear
The ones you wanted
The ones you lost

For a long time you couldn’t find them
You searched and searched
But they were gone

You imagined all the places
You would go in those shoes
What you would and could do
In those shoes again

Dreamed about them,
woke up and realized
they were still gone
It was just a dream

You tried different,
wonderful,
beautiful new shoes
The best of the best,
But could not replace the shoes you lost
The ones you were set on having
All the amazing, fabulous shoes you tried on,
you just threw away

They weren’t your old favorite

Until one day,
You found those favorite shoes
Again
There they were, almost like they never left
Never were lost
On cloud nine you were, reunited with those shoes
Filled with glee
you hugged them,
loved them

But as you put them on you suddenly realized
YOU HAD GROWN
and
they did not fit anymore
You tried
to squeeze your feet in these shoes
BUT YOU HAD GROWN
they did not fit

You

Anymore

Friendship

The truth is that what I miss the most, is the friendship we had.

Like when something great or something terrible happened, you were the first one I wanted to call.

I wanted to share the things I learned with you, because I knew you would always understand exactly what I was saying, like we spoke the same language.

I wanted to teach you the things I was taught.

Most of the time when I couldn’t put the things I wanted to say into words, I didn’t need to, because you always got it, just by the look in my eyes or the unspoken feeling expressed all over my face.

You would look at me and I knew it made sense to you.

I knew you would recognize the significance in the things we shared, that you shared the same passion for truth as I did.

The friendship I valued got overshadowed by worldly desires, complications, distractions and people that wanted to pull us apart.

Fear, selfishness, ambitions, pride and all things of ego destroyed the beauty that was not of this world, until there was nothing left but shreds of something unrecognizable.

And the rest of the story, as the story always goes on, is unwritten.

But my hope is that what is unwritten, is something not of darkness anymore, but that it is of the light.

Because there is always room for hope.

Always.

Illusion of Separateness

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There are some humans that want to keep other humans in the darkness, cutting us off from the awareness of our full potential, cutting us off from true connection with our creator.

Make no mistake, they benefit from creating reasons for us to feel separate from our fellows, feeding the idea of winners and losers, that there are those who are right and those who are wrong.

They feed us with reasons we should fear each other, different races, religions, countries, so that we cannot come together to create a real evolution of consciousness.

We are more easily controlled when we feel afraid, isolated, separate from one another and alone.

Everyday on the television, internet and radio news we are fed lies to distract us and they dish out fear, fear and more fear.

If we all knew the truth, that we truly all are one, connected by a single consciousness, that when we harm another we actually harm ourselves, when we judge another we are judging ourselves, we could then plug into our divine creator and perform miracles on the planet.

Open your eyes and rise above the illusion.

Truth, Love, Solution

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The most powerful thing on the planet is love.

I’ve never found that loving more hasn’t made any situation, any problem, better.

Loving the human being that I am and loving others has proven to be the thing that cuts through all fear and doubt.

Love is what connects us all.

Love is the truth of our being.

Love more today without needy attachment, without expectations.

Love freely with all that you are.

It’s always the solution.

Always.

Acting Out Of Love

I will slow down, choose my thoughts, words and actions carefully, making sure that all of these are coming from a place of love instead of fear.

I never want to live from a place of fear again.

When I am acting out of fear it comes from a place of darkness and it creates havoc and discontent in my life.

When I am acting out of love then my life enfolds in beautiful harmony and I am on the path drawing nearer to my creator.

Safe And Protected

The universe always has answers all around me, all the time, to all my questions if I just open my eyes to them.

It’s like these flashing signs screaming for my attention.

When my ego is loud and I’m caught up in expectations, resistance, and personal desires, I can’t see what’s right in front of me.

The more I try to “figure things out” with thinking, the less chance I have to be connected to the answers within.

The answers will not come from my thinking.

Times of quiet meditation, just slowing down altogether and being present, is necessary for knowing which direction to go and what path to take.

In times of indecision, although it’s taken practice and I’m never perfect, I have made progress on not reacting but just waiting until I’m sure of what action to take.

When answers become clear that’s when I need courage.

Courage enables me to step out from fear and into faith and trust, that God has my back no matter what, and I then I can follow what I know to be true.

I feel the power flow through me from a strengthened connection with God when I do this and feel the presence of God all around me.

I feel safe.

Raising The Bar

The journey of learning how to navigate life here on earth as a sober, conscious and awakened human being has been challenging at times.

Now that I’ve been finally facing the things in my past that have created this character I’ve needed to create to survive on this planet and have driven my thoughts and actions my whole life, I have begun to be free of it little by little.

I wasn’t ready until my soul was ready.

With faith and trust in my creator, I am able to find clarity, make decisions and then act on them with courage.

I can decide today what it is that I want my experience here on earth to look like, and when it’s really close but not quite there, I don’t have to settle out of fear that if I don’t, I’ll never have it.

That’s been my problem my whole life. I’ve settled for almost enough respect, almost enough happiness, almost enough love, almost enough living.

Then slowly but surely the bar got lower and lower and lower until I would accept anything at all.

Finally my life and beliefs got so small that there was no room for hope.

So now I’m in the process of expanding my beliefs about what life can be, setting the bar higher and placing more and more trust in my creator.

My experience so far has amazingly been that life absolutely rises to meet me where I am.

That’s a good reason today for hope.

Change

Even though I’m always resistant to change, any kind of change whether I’ve labeled it good or bad, it always contains growth.

Most of the time, even if where I’m at isn’t even what I truly want, I would rather stay right where I am rather than initiate or welcome change.

It’s funny.

I look back at all my experiences, I can finally see how each moment, each piece of my life, has been valuable to my journey today.

All change has pushed and challenged me to grow as human being.

Still though, my first response to any type of change is fear.

Then a calm comes over me as I remember that I gave up resisting and turned my will and life over to something I ultimately trust with everything.

There is no need to fear change or anything else because the universe is always guiding me and showing me the way to a better existence.

Today I will welcome change and be fearless in the face of new experiences.