I can feel the release in my body when surrender comes.
It’s like I don’t even know how much has actually built up until the point that I finally let go.
I release my reality to God, to the universe.
Tears normally come and I say “God please help me. Help to know and follow your will for me. Whatever that may be or whatever that looks like, give me the strength and courage to follow you in times where I feel powerless, lost and tired of trying to do it on my own.”
My shoulders drop and I plead with complete and utter humility.
When the surrender comes, then there can be recovery, in any area of my life.
Room is made for a new power to flow in, the power of God I allow to channel through me.
It’s funny how the human part of me needs much of everything. The desire for community, safety, companionship, intimacy, success, love, drive my attitudes and actions. I’m always wanting but no matter how much I seek outside myself, it’s never enough.
I play this game of life and yet spirit knows it’s just a game. It’s all just a creation, a story I’m making. It means a lot, yet it means little. How often do I go down dead end roads expecting to find a pot of gold when all there is is a dead end. An end or a beginning or both? When I can look within to find a soul that is just looking to be freed, when I let all earthly desires go like sand through my fingers, I find peace and love unconditional.
God, let me be free today and help me to stop looking for false happiness. Help me find something real, something that lasts.
Help me to know you and feel close to you, all the moments of my life.