Just A Half

“A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home.”

Rumi

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The Story Of My Life

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I have a story.

My story is of some value as long as I don’t get lost in it, as long as I don’t identify my true being with it.

It can help me relate with and connect with others. I can help people with the experience, strength and hope of surviving it.

My story can help me learn about what I want and don’t want to be today.

The mind, body and spirit are interconnected.  I am a being in human form, so I must allow myself to be human.

Whether I like it or not, I have a mind that has been conditioned by my past and that is what I want to break free of.

I no longer want to buy into the ideas I received from the world and people in it.

I don’t want to live like I am what happened to me.

These ideas about myself and others keep me in bondage.

I want to live in truth.

If I don’t take a look at where these ideas have and still play a part in how I experience this human journey, I can’t be free of them.

The work is in becoming conscious of and making sense of my past so that I may help others do the same.

I want to be free of it.

The good news is through every painful time, there is a beginning, middle and end.

Sometimes it’s just about holding on.

Blaming

 

Playing the victim hurts no one but myself. For so long I lived life blaming others for my troubles. Anger and resentment kept me spiritually sick and pretty miserable.

It blocks me from others and God.

When blocked from God, what keeps me from relapse?

As an alcoholic, I can’t afford to stay in anger and resentment.

I most always have had a part in my past problems. Whether it be the situations I placed myself in, my own actions, the people I brought into my life and the kind of choices I made, if I honestly look at myself I will find that I brought on this misery.

To cover up my own part, I get angry at others.

Not only can I find freedom from finding my part and letting go of anger but I grow spiritually and make better decisions, have better relationships and find more happiness.

By not playing the victim, I start creating my own destiny.

I am destined to repeat history if I don’t learn from it.

Forgiveness is not for others, it is for my own inner peace.

Today I will look at my part, learn from the past and forgive.

I will be free.