God Either Is Or Isn’t

“God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn’t.”
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

I could read something 1000 times but until I was ready to really hear it, I just couldn’t fully grasp what it meant. Years of seeking to find answers, to find truth, to find the path to be what my soul always knew I was, has led to me the understanding I hold today for what this truly means.

My soul yearned to know it’s potential but I was driven by ego.

I used to wonder why there was a need for darkness, for sadness, for pain and deny that there was a purpose for it’s existence. Now I understand that we cannot know and experience the beauty and power of the light we are without the existence of everything we’re not.

We have to experience the opposite of what we are to know who we want to be.

God is the darkness and the light, the tragedy and the joy, the hope and the suffering. God is just as much you and I, as he is each grain of sand on the beach.

God is in every moment, song, sign on the street, word or whisper spoken.

God is in the tears spilling from our eyes, the laughter, the pain, the joy and even the heartache.

To deny any of this would be to deny the existence of God.

To shelter ourselves from people, relationships, connection, trust and love, of our own will, is to shelter ourselves from God.

Today I understand that I must live, really live, to ever become what my soul yearns to become.

That is what God wants for me.

That is what God wants for you too.

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Miles

Miles I have traveled see you
To know you
A journey of self discovery
To be ready for the experience of you

Things I had to learn
To know myself and be free
Blues eyes mirroring amber brown
Your smile, your gentle nature

Your soul on your sleeve
A light in the crowd
Loosing myself when we’re near
Energy not to be denied

Your scared I know
But what we fear we attract
Life is in the living
So fear not for everything comes from God

The gift is in acceptance of what is
Taking what he gives
Opening up our hearts
Is what it’s all about

Take the risk
Roll the dice
Luck is on our side
I’m waiting over here just for you

9 Months of Days

Today marks nine months since I have put any mind altering substances in my body.

Nine months ago was the start of an amazing journey towards self realisation, that I never could’ve dreamt up.

I was lifted up out of darkness, when I could not do it for myself, and carried towards hope.

I didn’t make a phone call to a rehab asking for help. I didn’t want to live anymore. I had given up on myself and the world we live in. I was hopeless.

My creator had different plans for me, though I didn’t want it.

Thank God my story didn’t end in tragedy.

It’s been at times hard, messy, funny and absolutely beautiful, all wrapped up in one tremendous experience.

And it’s been my own unique experience.

Some things I’ve done I do not wish to do again.

My only regret in any situation so far is that I didn’t fear less and love more.

I would have never been able to get this far without building a connection with my creator, that I take with me into everything I do.

This has afforded me more happiness, laughter and freedom I’ve ever experience in all my life.

Being open to love without conditions and see that each spirit that walks this planet in human form is part of me and I a part of them, has been the greatest gift I’ve been given.

To everyone who has touched my heart along the way, I hold you and the things I’ve learned from you with me always.

Those who have loved me and allowed me to love you make this all worth it.

Mirrors Of Truth

The struggle ego drives against allowing truth to be heard can at times be much stronger than others, especially when off center.

Ego doesn’t have to win though.

Ego wants us alone, isolated. It wants us to view ourselves as separate, different. It wants to keep us afraid, especially of closeness to others.

There are people that come into our lives that encourage us to be and do better. They encourage us to continue to grow, even when our mind has us in its grip and fights it. They carry the light for us when we feel like we can’t.

As uncomfortable as it can be because ego always wants to be in charge, when someone speaks truth, our soul hears it.

We recognize truth not from the specific person speaking it but because it is already within us. They just are a mirror of the truth we already know.

But we need those mirrors so we can be reminded when we forget. Those people placed around us who work to raise consciousness are gifts of the universe to hold close.

Ego wants us anywhere but the present because everything we need is there. In the present moment there is nothing to fear. The people we love are in the present. God is in the present.  Yet ego refuses to look in right here and now for completeness because it can’t survive there.

There is nothing in future moments that will make us whole, yet we rush to them chasing that lie.  If we just get this thing, that amount of money, approval from “them”, job security, the right partner, ego says then we will feel complete.  

We get these things and sure enough, wholeness is not found.  

Ego just wants something more.

But we are only ever in the here and now.

Completeness and wholeness is right here, in this moment.

And that is the truth.

Today I Will

I will give to the greater good today

I will turn away from selfish desires and be there for someone else

I won’t identify with every passing thought because it is not who and what I am

I will listen to my heart not my mind

I will trust that I have all the answers I need within me

I will give all of myself withholding nothing

I won’t try to manage, manipulate and control my environment or the people around me

I will be compassionate, tolerant and loving to those around me

I will look pass the characters people play and look for and speak to their souls

I will be gentle on myself

I will create something amazing today

I will shine light into darkness

I will give someone else hope

I won’t live in the past nor let the past decide my future

I will break old patterns of behaviour and do something different

I will learn something new

I will stay in the beauty of the present

I will slow down

I won’t rush to the next moment

I will allow others to help me today

I will allow love in

You Are A Hero

You are wonderful because of your perfect imperfections.

The magic of your beauty comes from the scars life has left on you.

You didn’t always believe you would have anything to give the world.

You had no idea how precious you really were.

There is hope in the tragedy of your story.

Sometimes the only sense that can be made from the ways you have been harmed is to show others that it can be survived.

From the darkest of times your spirit has turned to shine bright.

Because there is a part of you that cannot be harmed.

Your flame illuminates the way because you honour your light.

You help your fellows because you understand truth that we are not separate at all.

We are all just a tiny parts of the whole.

All together moving towards a better existence.

You are a hero.

Match Made In Heaven

I’m so thankful you have come into my life

You’ve allowed my love in

And showed me how to love more

Teaching me so much about life

And letting me teach you about freedom

Every day with you is magic

All that I’ve ever wanted I’ve been granted

Your words full of wisdom

The way you live is what I strive to be

We come together in perfect balance

A match made in heaven

Growing Roots

image You are the stars in my eyes

Open as the seas thousands of miles from shore

Solid as the ground the stops our fall

The soil I would grow roots in

More than just a dream that wakes me smiling

A breeze that sweeps me up into the heavens

The flutter of butterfly wings in my chest

The eloquent words I’ve been searching to find

Spoken from your mouth with such grace

A beautiful example I would follow anywhere

The soft light in a tunnel of darkness

A new blessing in my life I’ve been waiting for

All along having no doubt that someday we would meet

In the here and now is where we’ve found each other

In the present is where we find love

When Our Eyes Meet

Sparks when our eyes meet

Energy ignites when I touch your hand

I see into your soul

The beauty that lies within

You move me with your wisdom

Your gentle nature invites me in

I’ve needed a teacher and then there was you

An answered prayer

You and I flow effortlessly

There’s so much we have to learn

And I’m paying attention to every second