Deep in the center of my being is light, a light that is love, a warmth that wants to love. In my mind lies the desire to be loved, to feel it from somewhere outside of myself. But the truth … Continue reading
When did I unconsciously decide to start holding back again in an effort to protect my self?
It’s something I did my whole life but when I had my first profound awakening, I finally saw that the problem with having the walls up to keep out the bad, was that it came with a high cost.
It was also keeping out everything good.
I had let finally down all the walls and I allowed absolutely everything in.
As scary as it was, it was the time in my life I felt the most free, it was when I felt the most of everything.
It was like taking a leap off a cliff.
There was so much living in those moments, so many lows but yet so many highs too.
But yet again, as life happened, as it always does, ever so subtly, I starting holding back and closing off again.
I wanted to protect myself.
I chose safety over risks.
But in protecting myself, I had stopped living to the fullest like I had been.
I stopped taking those risks.
Life starting loosing the vibrance in it’s color.
I stopped living completely free in the now and tried to find a balance between acting in the moment, and being discernibly cautious.
Is there a right and a wrong way in all this?
Or are there just choices, with costs and prices to pay for each side?
There is nothing more powerful than love.
Nothing more powerful than truth.
Nothing more powerful than God.
What else on the planet can penetrate the thickest walls?
Brighten the darkest corners?
Fill up empty hearts?
Envelop a room, completely unseen, yet felt with an overwhelming warmth?
Make the pain of years melt away?
Bring us to spill tears of joy?
Instantly remove fear?
Gain trust in an instant?
Unify us all?
I know you’re paying attention
Listen here for truth
The voice of being
What does it say?
True freedom like none other
Lies in the following
What you just know
Scary, it certainly is
But on the other side
Are miracles awaiting
The only thing between
You and the best things in life
So do without judgement
Don’t fear being you
What God intended you to be
Let opinions slide off you
And live your truth
“God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn’t.”
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
I could read something 1000 times but until I was ready to really hear it, I just couldn’t fully grasp what it meant. Years of seeking to find answers, to find truth, to find the path to be what my soul always knew I was, has led to me the understanding I hold today for what this truly means.
My soul yearned to know it’s potential but I was driven by ego.
I used to wonder why there was a need for darkness, for sadness, for pain and deny that there was a purpose for it’s existence. Now I understand that we cannot know and experience the beauty and power of the light we are without the existence of everything we’re not.
We have to experience the opposite of what we are to know who we want to be.
God is the darkness and the light, the tragedy and the joy, the hope and the suffering. God is just as much you and I, as he is each grain of sand on the beach.
God is in every moment, song, sign on the street, word or whisper spoken.
God is in the tears spilling from our eyes, the laughter, the pain, the joy and even the heartache.
To deny any of this would be to deny the existence of God.
To shelter ourselves from people, relationships, connection, trust and love, of our own will, is to shelter ourselves from God.
Today I understand that I must live, really live, to ever become what my soul yearns to become.
That is what God wants for me.
That is what God wants for you too.
Let down your tired walls
Release from holding tight
Melt into the warm embrace
Of truth, love and miracles
Forget all you know
Be free of old ideas
Trust what happens to be
Don’t be scared of now
Be all in
It’s what your spirit craves
Faith lies in the arms of love
Allow your soul happiness
Let out the light of your being
Give of yourself freely
Connect without fear
Freedom lies in this
Step into what’s real
If there is such a thing
You’ll get what you ask for
The universe is your playground
The illusion I had been chasing is that love from others will make me feel complete.
If only I could get you to love me I would feel like I am enough, safe, secure and happy.
Truth is that the amount of completeness and joy I experience is in direct proportion to my ability to give love to others.
Ego says be careful who you love.
Spirit says everyone is loveable.
Ego says love must be earned or deserved.
Spirit says I need nothing from you to love you.
Ego says withhold love in protection.
Spirit says love more and you will never feel harmed.
This is the kind of unconditional love doesn’t need anything in return.
It is pure.
It is lasting.
It is an unshakeable foundation for living.
I am so blessed to be where I am today. The universe has led me on a beautiful path to purpose and freedom. When I finally awakened, spirit said to me that I have a job to do on this planet. At that beginning point, clouded by a loud thinking mind, it just wasn’t clear yet exactly what that was.
My being knew it was true.
The path hasn’t always been a straight one. I am always learning and growing. My mind left unchecked has taken me off course at times but thankfully by constantly working to come back to center, I get back on track.
I stay as humble as possible and learn from my experiences so I can keep evolving.
Reading The Power Of Now by Ekhart Tolle has been transformative for me. I have found that I literally awaken as I read it. It’s amazing and has helped free me from the bondage of my ego or “thinking”.
Staying present and becoming conscious to the truth, that I am not what comes from my mind, has been setting me free. Understanding that my ego can only survive if I am in the past or the future, I can observe the thoughts and feelings that come up and know that they are not what’s real.
More and more I can distinguish the difference between the voice of ego and the voice of my being. I can find peace and lasting joy by shining a light of consciousness on my ego.
It only takes constant practice of being present.
Ego cannot survive if I stay present.
It’s so simple.
Everything in the here in now is perfect… and exactly how it should be.