First Thing’s First

The problem of being stuck in self was the root of all my problems.

When I all I think about is how I am going to manage in this world, how I am going to have money, security, a career, friends, lovers, having fun, safety and everything else I can obsess about, the result is misery.

For me everything goes back to the relationship I have with my creator. If I trust this thing, if I believe it is always by my side, guiding and protecting me, then I have much less fear about life and my place in it.

I have surrendered to the fact that I am here to do the will of my creator first and not my own.

That doesn’t mean I don’t get to have an amazing life. In fact the more I put others first and serve my creator and humanity, the more my life steadily improves.

It sometimes feels like getting out of self is against my natural inclination. However it is only my ego that fights it, not the ultimate nature of my being.

I just continually do all I can to keep the gift of my awakening alive and take actions to not slip backwards into unconsciousness.

It works, it really does.

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Trusted Compass

I release you to the universe
It’s arms open wide
Where peace I wish you to find
With the eternal comfort of home

As I leave you to fly on your own
Because it’s time for my own path
My final gift to you is the truth you seek
Listen closely with an open heart

Answers you seek and wish me to tell
Can’t replace the experience
your soul demands
For you to discover who you are and will be
On this brief journey called life

You are the creator of your reality
Just as your creator intended it to be
Free will is the gift you were given
Choice is the variable that leaves your path yet to be seen

This above all else is the truth you should know
Your primary purpose is to serve your creator
As we are you and you are us
Let that be your guide in all you do

Work to achieve for money, acceptance and admiration
Seeking for the objective of self
And all you build will crumble again and again
Like quicksand beneath your feet

Serve God above all else
Go within for it’s there you will find what your made of
Everything you could ever need and want
You will be blessed in miracles

Your light will explode
Igniting change for the better
Raising the hopes of the world
Leading many as you travel

Do everything with love
It will be your trusted compass
Do not fear but find courage to stand on your own
Warriors of truth often stand alone

The Miracle Already IS

The miracle that happens for a girl like me through living a spiritual way of life, is to have another day alive and sober on this planet.

For whatever reason, I have a disease called alcoholism that is progressive and fatal. I hadn’t been able to live comfortably without putting something in my body to alter my mind for most of my life.

However, today I live free from the obsession to use a drink or a drug. Not only have I not used a mind altering substance in over eight months but I have had the most interesting and fun journey thus far.

At this point it cannot just about getting “relief”. I’m constantly shooting for happy, joyous and FREE.

And it happens.

So it baffles me that I used to deny the existence of an unconditionally loving God. According to the odds, I should be dead or loaded.

But I’m not.

If no human power can help me, no thing, job, amount of money, then my only hope is God.

So I pray every day to know God and his will for me.

Only someone like me, with alcoholism, would be granted the miracle and gift of life but then that not be enough, still be unsatisfied and want more.

This is the disease centered in self.

I have been granted the gift of life for today therefore my first priority has to be how can I love and serve God.

As long as I remember this and have gratitude in my heart, I can possibly have yet another day.