“This is what I know for sure, you don’t get what you wish for, you don’t even get what you hope for. You get what you believe.” –Oprah
Maybe God has been listening all along.
Maybe God already has placed the perfect person in my life, right in front of me, yet I just refused to see it.
Maybe I’ve already met my soul mate but I was afraid of getting everything I’ve been saying I want all along?
I say I want a partner, a lover, loyalty, love without conditions, someone who makes me better, someone who won’t leave me, yet when that person comes along I turn them away?
Maybe I really don’t want these things.
Maybe I chase those who end up leaving me because I get uncomfortable with someone who really loves me exactly the way I am?
Someone who sees into my soul and knows the very parts that make me who I am?
Someone who sees the good in me, and accepts the “not so good”.
Maybe the intimacy that kind of person brings is the one holding a mirror to myself, showing me that I’d rather chase someone who is unavailable.
How do I know that something I thought was wrong, is actually right?
How do I know that something I thought was harmful was actually the perfect thing for me?
How does one know that?
Who makes those decisions? My friends? Therapist? Sponsor? My head? My alcoholism?
Where is God in all this?
What and who do I listen to?
What would my soul have me do? What would love do? What would self love do?
Sometimes it’s hard to know which is the voice of fear and which is the voice of love.
Awakening is listening to the God within.
I left behind my blond locks, cigarettes, and any relationship with another, all in the hopes you would return home, to where I am.
Silly, really, since you are long, long gone.
In my dreams we laugh and live a life of freedom together.
All the things we never said, we say, and we mean it.
We do things differently.
I am different and then so are you.
We get a do over, to make right the wrongs.
I’m not afraid, and neither are you.
You finally see me, I mean, really see me.
In my dreams it’s great, and we are great together.
Really, really great.
Then I wake up, and you are not here.
Things are how they are, so I move on.
There is much to be said of love.
It is the sun’s love that opens a flower, just as love opens a child.
Love heals emotional pain, love heals emptiness, for when there there is emptiness, there is no love.
We can’t measure emptiness, but we can measure love.
When there is love there is fullness, and wholeness.
Just like rain is necessary to grow new things on earth, tears to human beings heal us so new things can grow in our lives.
Allow yourself tears today in healing.
If you are feeling empty and incomplete, find someone to love.
Let that one you find to love be you!
I’ve loved you 1000 years
A thousand hugs
A thousand jokes
A thousand laughs
A thousand smiles
A thousand joys
A thousand triumphs
A thousand struggles
A thousand victories
A thousand tears
A thousand heartaches
A thousand unanswered questions
A thousand fears
A thousand hopes
A thousand disappointments
A thousand broken wings
A thousand tantrums
A thousand “why”s
A thousand lifetimes I’ve walked away because you would never give 100 percent of your heart and just 1 commitment… to see that we were meant to be, born of the stars, you and me.
Why have I been the only one to know that you should’ve been with me?
I miss you…
After all this time.
Deep in the center of my being is light, a light that is love, a warmth that wants to love. In my mind lies the desire to be loved, to feel it from somewhere outside of myself. But the truth … Continue reading
And out of the blue, and angel appeared. The little soul, lost in darkness, recognized the light shining from the angel with blue eyes so bright, so untouched by the evils of this world.
The little soul asked the Angel questions, “How do I escape all this darkness? How do I leave a life I so much do not want to be in? Tell me everything!”
The Angel answered in a soft voice, “Everything you seek is within you, if you want to leave this darkness then take my hand and I will show you the way out.”
The little soul was afraid, darkness is all it ever knew. But the one thing it did know, beyond a doubt, was that it knew this Angel very well. They had met before in another life and fate or destiny brought them together again, at the time the little soul needed her most.
And every soul has free will, to do as it pleases, to choose light or to choose dark. Frozen in indecision, the soul did not choose. But not choosing, is a choice, and so the Angel moved on, tears of sadness streaming down her cheeks as she left the little soul behind but the Angel understood the importance of choice.
To this day, the Angel dreams of the day they will reunite, in this life or the next, as kindred spirits always do, and waits at the bottom of the tree of wisdom, picking daisies, for the choice to finally be made.