Run.. You are on quicksand

The law of the universe states that what goes up must must come down.

When highs are built on false happiness, unlike real joy that only comes from within, extreme lows will follow.

Outside solutions built on quicksand always fail us because the material world always demands more.

Material world, means the things that lie outside of us, money, success, relationships, attention, fame, adoration.

What once felt good becomes a need for more.

Relationships do not make us whole, they only temporarily make us feel better to mask the real problem of the spiritual hole within us if not filled with our creator.

“Make me feel better about myself.”

“Take away my sadness.”

“That fact that you love me makes me feel worthy.”

“Looking in your eyes makes me temporarily forget all my pain, all of the pain I’ve caused others just to get here.”

“Your beautiful and you love me so that must mean I’m beautiful.”

“Fill me up, make me whole, love me more, give me more of you, it’s not enough, it’s not enough, it’s just not enough, I’m not enough…”

The solution turns into the problem because you, human, will fail me.

I’ve failed me.

What was the cost of getting here, with you, right now?”

“Can I forgive it?”

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Staying Out Of The Dream

I want to live in the story that I wish to create, not someone else’s. What I mean by that a reality based on a set of belief systems drummed up by the majority of humans or specific individuals. To create a world that I can live in, that’s what is essential to my sanity and my happiness.

Every day the stories told by people about what they believe is real and stories of the world going on around me constantly attempt to pull me in. It takes daily vigilance to not get lost in the fog of it all, and come back to what I know to be real, what I know to be true.

I constantly weave in and out of clarity, going into the dream and then coming back out. Forgetting and relearning, over and over again.

In those moments, when I see everything exactly as it is, it’s like a deep breath of fresh air after holding my breath under water.

I can see people acting out their incessant patterns of insanity, and without judgement, love them and let them go to be free to live their lives as they do. I can understand them only from a deep understanding of myself when I did those things and didn’t know why. I never even thought to ask why, I just did them unconsciously.

I thought I was looking for love when I really I was looking for someone to complete me, someone to fill the void that existed while on my own, someone to hold me up, someone to fix the unhappiness.

To hold onto this awareness and not repeat old patterns, there is one important focus that remains and that is to not get drawn into the dream with others, to stay firmly planted in my reality.

When I watch people search and search for completeness in the arms of another, I am reminded of why that is not the answer for me. When I see those around me looking to fill their spiritual emptiness with someone else, someone who will never be the solution, I say to myself “Thank you God for freeing me off this need to find comfort in a person, the comfort that will only ever be found by remaining close to you.”