To Amend

I regret ever making you feel

Not good enough

Not smart enough

Unloved

Un-evolved

Untrustworthy

Hurt

Upset

Sad

Attacked

Not special enough

Not worth it

Judged in any way.

It is my intention to not repeat this behavior.

Are there any other ways I have harmed you for which I am unaware?

What can I do to make it right?

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Being Loving

“The only way we know we love ourselves or anyone else is by the contracts we are willing to make and keep.”

I used to live by some pretty backwards ideas.

I would say I loved and cared about people but would have no problem intentionally hurting them or cutting them off entirely when they didn’t do what I wanted them to.

If in my reality it appeared that someone harmed me I would shut down or harm them in return.

Only was my reality truth?

Was it just my perception of reality?

I would intentionally try to make people I love feel bad by my words, actions or silence.

I failed to look at my part.

I couldn’t see the world through their eyes.

If I am to find freedom from repeating the past and freedom in general, it can’t be rooted in blaming others and then trying to get back at them in creatively passive aggressive ways.

The problem with this way of living is that it not only separated me from everyone around me that I claimed to “love” but I was actually harming myself and moving farther away from God.

If my motivations aren’t based in love but out of resentment, fear, control and anger then how can I love myself?

How can I love the person I am if I let the wrong doing of others, perceived or real, determine who I am and how I act in the world?

How do I know who I truly am?

How can I move towards God?

Love is not something I can just say.

It’s not an adjective.

Love today for me has to be a verb. It’s got to be in the action of being “loving”…

No matter what.