Reborn

Never would I have been able to predict how my life was going to turn out so far if I would’ve been asked a year ago.

A year ago I was in the darkest time of my life. I didn’t know it could get that dark.

Yet it did.

I was full of terror, hopeless and had a feeling of impending doom, as I predicted the end of my life had finally come and I could see it happening in slow motion before my eyes.

I had lost my sanity, stuck circling the drain of madness.

My 2 sons were scared of me and for me, with the rest of my family baffled as to what to do with me.

I had lost everything.

The memories and flashbacks that come of the last year are a gift, for it reminds me of where I came from and pushes me forward to seek something better.

I hope I never forget.

Today my life looks so different on the inside and outside. I have a full life with people who inspire and encourage me, an amazing career in helping others that have come from where I did and most importantly I am able to love and be loved.

I know am on the path I need to be on because everything just falls into place.

I have a purpose on this planet and my most important job is to seek and fulfill what that is.

Gratitude fills my heart for being lifted out of my old life.

I have been reborn.

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Born Into A New Life

If someone would’ve told me eight months ago that I would be living in another city, sober from any mind altering substances, awakened, with a new amazing job caring for a house full of girls that are like family, the same house that saved my life and be looking at a future full of hope, I would’ve called them crazy.

I expected to be six feet under the earth. I wanted to die. I prayed for death to come take me.

But death would not come for me as much as I invited it.

Instead I was lifted out of hell by a God that had different plans for me. Although I did not choose it, I was awakened.  I didn’t know how I knew but it was clear to me early on in my sobriety that I had a job to do on this planet.

And I was willing.

Willingness turned into determination. The more I seek answers, to understand the truth, the more it becomes clear where my place is in this world and what I must do.

Serve God first, help others awaken and then everything else.

It’s no longer about me and what I want.

I now get that every second of my existence on earth so far had to happen, in the exact way it happened, to prepare me for this next part of my journey. All of the darkness has been necessary because without it I wouldn’t have sought out the light.

There is always more work to be done, if my soul is to evolve. The work that needs to be done can only be done within. It’s a gift to be able to be present for this experience, so I can see the things that still block me from God, myself and others.

I can be present for the lessons.

By putting first thing first, my life has opened up and amazing things are happening.

I can’t wait to see what comes next. But one thing I know for sure is that whatever it is, I will be right here and right now to experience it.

And for that I am thankful.