Choices

When did I unconsciously decide to start holding back again in an effort to protect my self?

It’s something I did my whole life but when I had my first profound awakening, I finally saw that the problem with having the walls up to keep out the bad, was that it came with a high cost.

It was also keeping out everything good.

I had let finally down all the walls and I allowed absolutely everything in.

As scary as it was, it was the time in my life I felt the most free, it was when I felt the most of everything.

It was like taking a leap off a cliff.

There was so much living in those moments, so many lows but yet so many highs too.

But yet again, as life happened, as it always does, ever so subtly, I starting holding back and closing off again.

I wanted to protect myself.

I chose safety over risks.

But in protecting myself, I had stopped living to the fullest like I had been.

I stopped taking those risks.

Life starting loosing the vibrance in it’s color.

I stopped living completely free in the now and tried to find a balance between acting in the moment, and being discernibly cautious.

Is there a right and a wrong way in all this?

Or are there just choices, with costs and prices to pay for each side?

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Today I Will

I will give to the greater good today

I will turn away from selfish desires and be there for someone else

I won’t identify with every passing thought because it is not who and what I am

I will listen to my heart not my mind

I will trust that I have all the answers I need within me

I will give all of myself withholding nothing

I won’t try to manage, manipulate and control my environment or the people around me

I will be compassionate, tolerant and loving to those around me

I will look pass the characters people play and look for and speak to their souls

I will be gentle on myself

I will create something amazing today

I will shine light into darkness

I will give someone else hope

I won’t live in the past nor let the past decide my future

I will break old patterns of behaviour and do something different

I will learn something new

I will stay in the beauty of the present

I will slow down

I won’t rush to the next moment

I will allow others to help me today

I will allow love in

Fireside Sermon

Fireside Sermon

This is a story told by my dear friend Jay. I’m going to try my best to tell the story as close to how he told it as possible.

I love you Jay.

 

There was a girl who lived in Vermont who had stayed sober for a year in Alcoholics Anonymous. She had just taken her 1 year anniversary, as they call it in the north east.

After she completed a year she stopped participating in AA. She stopped going to meetings and drifted away.

One night she as she was sitting in front on the fire, she heard a knock at the door.

She hesitantly peered out to see who it was. There at the door stood her sponsor.

Surprised she opened the door and let her in. Her sponsor entered the house saying nothing. She just went at sat in front of the fireplace quietly and watched it burn.

Then her sponsor went over to the fire and with the tongs picked up a brightly burning, red hot log. This log was full of orange glowing color and was full of heat.

With the tongs she placed the log away from the center of the flames by itself over in the corner of the fireplace.

Quickly the log lost it’s color and heat. It turned gray and dark and lost it’s beautiful orange glow.

The girl watched her sponsor and the cooling log on the side of the fire.

They sat in silence.

Then her sponsor took the tongs and picked up the gray, darkened log and placed it back in the center of the roaring fire.

Almost immediately, the log light up again, glowing hot, just as bright as before.

The girl sat and watched.

Without a word, the girl’s sponsor put her hat and scarf on and headed for the door.

As the sponsor opened the door to leave, the girl stopped her and said, “Thank you for the fireside sermon.”

 

All Things Starting With God

Everything that I have gained on this new part of my spiritual journey has been a result of my relationship with God.

My primary relationship has to be with God and from the solid existence of that, all other relationships flourish.

Everything in my life is effortless when I cultivate a conscious contact with God.

I can trust in the fact that everything that happens in the world around me is necessary and all I have to do is follow my truth and just be in the present.

I can listen to that voice inside me and follow it walking through any fear, knowing that no matter what I will get exactly what I need, I will be exactly where I am supposed to be and I will be completely taken care of.

I can be vulnerable.

I can say what I need to say.

I can allow others to love me.

I can give unconditional love to others.

I don’t have to play a character to try to keep myself “safe”.

I can be okay in the world with out “needing” anything.

When I stay in God’s will for me instead of my own, everything works out so much better.