It’s Gonna Be You and Me

I left behind my blond locks, cigarettes, and any relationship with another, all in the hopes you would return home, to where I am.

Silly, really, since you are long, long gone.

In my dreams we laugh and live a life of freedom together.

All the things we never said, we say, and we mean it.

We do things differently.

I am different and then so are you.

We get a do over, to make right the wrongs.

I’m not afraid, and neither are you.

You finally see me, I mean, really see me.

In my dreams it’s great, and we are great together.

Really, really great.

Then I wake up, and you are not here.

Things are how they are, so I move on.

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Creation and Focus

It wasn’t until I became conscious of the truth that I began changing my reality.

When I understood that I am energy, like everything that exists, and every thought, belief, word and action sends out signals into the energy field of the universe, I began to finally focus that energy to create something beautiful.

I began to create the existence that I always wanted.

I never knew I could really do it.

I was already creating my existence but I wasn’t aware of it.

Just like my creator, I have been given the same ability to create anything I wish.

That’s what we are here to do, to experience the magnificence of what we are, not to just know it.

I can know things but I exist to experience.

It all begins with thought.

So to create the reality I wish to live in, I am constantly mindful of my thoughts.

I work to resist nothing and instead to focus my heart and mind on what I want to experience, not what I don’t want.

What I focus my attention on grows and that includes what I don’t want.

I see this working in my life and in the lives of others.

There are no limits to the things we can do.

It all starts with a loving heart and constant thought of others.

The universe responds because it wants this for me and for you.

Today I will create something amazing.

Gratitude

I am grateful for:

The awkwardness of first kisses
Baby blue eyes
Love songs
Dinner’s for two
Trying new food with someone I trust
Kitties
Thoughtful text messages
Hand holding
Sidewalk hugs
The moon by the pool house
Photo memories
Late night talks with giggles
Cuddling
Passionate embraces
Intimate stares
Ocean air and the negative ions from the waves
Your touching my soul
Having known you
Allowing you to know me
Experiencing even a moment of perfection
Friendship
Love
Kindness
Freedom to do it all over again

Unlearn Everything

“We don’t need to learn anything new. We just need to unlearn everything we think we know.”

I never realized that I was going to try to just settle for an average life. Old beliefs, the ones I never even questioned or stopped to think about where they came from, kept me from believing I could go anywhere and do anything I could dream up.

My deepest dreams seemed somehow unreachable. So one by one as I grew up from being a child, I let them all go. I was told that I needed a college education to be anything, that I would have to work hard for my money (and not necessarily enjoy it), that if I didn’t get married and have children something was off with me. I believed I should find “the one” and it should last forever.

I believed that to have a powerful impact on my children, I had to be physically present with them everyday. These are just some of the beliefs that determined how I lived life. No one ever told me to just be who I felt I was meant to be. That I could just be free to be me and what everyone else is doing may not equal happiness.

My experience so far has been that anything is possible and love wins over everything else. Being loving without conditions on that love not only grants me freedom but it creates a path for the impossible to occur.

My job is not hard. It doesn’t feel like work. I get to be me. I get to be of service to amazing girls. I get the daughters I never had. I get to be around those that are walking the same path towards enlightenment that I travel.

The bond I have with my children through the love I have given and continue to give is beyond anything. I don’t have to live with them or do the things most moms do to be their hero. It’s the love that they recognize and eat up.  

It’s why my 15 year old sings me songs in the car that people have made about their moms. It’s why he tells me more than most teenage boys tell their parents. It’s why his smile and eyes shine when we are together. It’s why he feels safe with me. It’s why he proudly talks to his friends about who his mom is. It’s the reason he asks me to stay longer because it’s important to him for me to meet his girlfriend.

My love, he says, is the reason he feels encouraged to follow his truth and succeed.

Success means something totally different to me today. It doesn’t consist of a pay check, money, the car, the house, the intimate partner, the admiration of others or anything like that.

Today it means that my life is full of love and close relationships, self respect, self love, inner peace and fulfillment. It’s only been seven and a half months on this new part of my human journey and I’ve gained so much of what I always wanted but was looking in all the wrong places for.

Gratitude fills my heart and if I really take a good look at truth, I’m already exactly where I need to be.