Teaching Angels To Fly

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In the world of recovery, as with my job and with my personal life in the program, people often come and go into my life.

I take women under my wing.

I like to say that I teach angels how to fly.

I help them put on the training wheels and give them a little push.

Some touch my heart more than others.

Instead of focusing on the painful goodbyes, I focus on the beauty and light they shed in my life during the brief time I had them with me.

They each bring something unique with them and leave me with sacred memories.

One in particular is out there suffering right now and I cannot help her because the only help she needs can come from her connection with her creator.

A few days ago we were laughing and having fun being silly and then next thing I know she is lost to this disease and gone.

Every time I have the memory of the last time I saw her face flash before me in my mind, so broken and so lost, I pray for her and hope that someday she follows the light to guide her home.

I love you Liz.

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Fireside Sermon

Fireside Sermon

This is a story told by my dear friend Jay. I’m going to try my best to tell the story as close to how he told it as possible.

I love you Jay.

 

There was a girl who lived in Vermont who had stayed sober for a year in Alcoholics Anonymous. She had just taken her 1 year anniversary, as they call it in the north east.

After she completed a year she stopped participating in AA. She stopped going to meetings and drifted away.

One night she as she was sitting in front on the fire, she heard a knock at the door.

She hesitantly peered out to see who it was. There at the door stood her sponsor.

Surprised she opened the door and let her in. Her sponsor entered the house saying nothing. She just went at sat in front of the fireplace quietly and watched it burn.

Then her sponsor went over to the fire and with the tongs picked up a brightly burning, red hot log. This log was full of orange glowing color and was full of heat.

With the tongs she placed the log away from the center of the flames by itself over in the corner of the fireplace.

Quickly the log lost it’s color and heat. It turned gray and dark and lost it’s beautiful orange glow.

The girl watched her sponsor and the cooling log on the side of the fire.

They sat in silence.

Then her sponsor took the tongs and picked up the gray, darkened log and placed it back in the center of the roaring fire.

Almost immediately, the log light up again, glowing hot, just as bright as before.

The girl sat and watched.

Without a word, the girl’s sponsor put her hat and scarf on and headed for the door.

As the sponsor opened the door to leave, the girl stopped her and said, “Thank you for the fireside sermon.”

 

Power of trust

How quickly I can forget how bad the road was that led me to my bottom. I can forget all kinds of things pretty quickly. If only my last bottom was enough to motivate me to continuously grow spiritually and protect myself from sliding back to a road that eventually leads to relapse.

The problem with relapse, and I’ve experienced it too many times, is that I can’t see it coming until it’s usually too late. Nothing anyone says gets through to me because I am by then, blocked from God and the ways in which God speaks to me through others.

If I go back further, I have lost my willingness to take action that can lift me out of my suffering.

Back even further than that, I have lost my connection, faith and trust in God.

Or maybe I never had it to begin with.

The most important factor for me this time is that I have a concept of God that I can trust with every aspect of my life. I must always put serving God first, or I have nothing.

I spent a lot of time coming to terms with what I figured a concept I could trust would be, just to begin with. And since then, with just a beginning, that concept is constantly changing and evolving.

I can’t give up trying to manage and control the world unless I believe there is something far more capable than me already doing so, with my and everyone else’s best interests at heart.

I can’t let go of one thing without the faith of something far better, if I have no faith that things are removed from me for a good reason.

If I stay on this road of faith, even through what appears to be the worst of times, there is always something better. All I have to do is look back on my life to see why things had to happen the way they did, to bring me to the beauty of today.

If I really take a good look around me, with the vision of gratitude, life is pretty terrific today, just as it is.