Tonight With You

There were times I had resigned myself to being alone on this journey. I had been asked, “If God wanted you to be alone for the rest of this life, would you be willing?”.

My answer was yes.

If I felt that it’s was God’s plan for me, in order to fulfill my purpose, I absolutely would.

But then recently, out of the blue, when I least expected it, I met you. I knew right away that you would inspire me, guide me and at least for now, actually help me fulfill my destiny.

I looked into your eyes, and you didn’t turn away but looked right back at me and I saw past the mask and into your soul.

It’s the most lovely sight.

Your smile makes me smile.

Your laugh makes me laugh.

Your strength makes me feel safe.

Your embrace is warm and gentle.

We sway back and forth to the music that doesn’t exist, and you don’t let go until after I let go.

We lay back and stare at the stars and wonder what it’s all about.

If tonight was the last time we had and tomorrow didn’t exist, I would be thankful that I had this feeling, right here, with you now.

This whole dream is about connecting with others.

And I’ve been blessed to share this all with you.

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Choices

When did I unconsciously decide to start holding back again in an effort to protect my self?

It’s something I did my whole life but when I had my first profound awakening, I finally saw that the problem with having the walls up to keep out the bad, was that it came with a high cost.

It was also keeping out everything good.

I had let finally down all the walls and I allowed absolutely everything in.

As scary as it was, it was the time in my life I felt the most free, it was when I felt the most of everything.

It was like taking a leap off a cliff.

There was so much living in those moments, so many lows but yet so many highs too.

But yet again, as life happened, as it always does, ever so subtly, I starting holding back and closing off again.

I wanted to protect myself.

I chose safety over risks.

But in protecting myself, I had stopped living to the fullest like I had been.

I stopped taking those risks.

Life starting loosing the vibrance in it’s color.

I stopped living completely free in the now and tried to find a balance between acting in the moment, and being discernibly cautious.

Is there a right and a wrong way in all this?

Or are there just choices, with costs and prices to pay for each side?

Safe And Protected

The universe always has answers all around me, all the time, to all my questions if I just open my eyes to them.

It’s like these flashing signs screaming for my attention.

When my ego is loud and I’m caught up in expectations, resistance, and personal desires, I can’t see what’s right in front of me.

The more I try to “figure things out” with thinking, the less chance I have to be connected to the answers within.

The answers will not come from my thinking.

Times of quiet meditation, just slowing down altogether and being present, is necessary for knowing which direction to go and what path to take.

In times of indecision, although it’s taken practice and I’m never perfect, I have made progress on not reacting but just waiting until I’m sure of what action to take.

When answers become clear that’s when I need courage.

Courage enables me to step out from fear and into faith and trust, that God has my back no matter what, and I then I can follow what I know to be true.

I feel the power flow through me from a strengthened connection with God when I do this and feel the presence of God all around me.

I feel safe.

Choose Light

Now, when I surround myself with people, I choose carefully.

I choose those who are going where I want to go or are where I eventually would like to be.

Because I am influenced by the energy of those I have frequent contact with, I always think, does their existence look like what I would want for myself?

Are they generally happy and free?

Are they always in drama, negativity and turmoil?

When I don’t know which way to go, should I take suggestions from those who don’t have the inner peace I seek?

We are like logs in a fire.

If we stay towards the burning flames, we light up.

If we are off to the side in the dark, our light goes out.

I always know where to find the light, the solution, the way out.

It’s up to me to choose.

Friends?

I used to need specific friends in my life. I didn’t know why I loved having them around because I never took a look at why that was.

I just needed them.

I wasn’t conscious of the fact that it was usually people in my life that made me feel a certain way. It could’ve been that they made me feel safe, wanted, needed or better about myself.

Any or all of those things would do.

The point is, I kept them around to get something I needed, unknowingly.

I thought they were good for me.

I thought for the most part, they helped me.

So when they were actually harming me, I couldn’t see it.

Sometimes it was as subtle as constant manipulative influence through harmful advice or opinions.

Sometimes it wasn’t so subtle like lashing out when they didn’t get their way or just dropping me when they had something else that was more important to them.

Even though when they felt scared that someone else in my life may have been threatening their relationship with me, and they would manipulate the situation, they may or may not have been conscious to it.

Neither was I.

Did they honestly have my best interest at heart?

Or were they just unaware of what they were doing, like I was.

I would either just get over it or make excuses to myself, just so I didn’t have to loose them.

Because I could imagine my life without them.

In the same way I needed them for something I was getting out of it, they were doing the same thing.

Today through relying on God instead of people and actively working on doing all things with love, I can love others without needing them.

I can see it in others when they may be saying or doing things that could harm me because I can see it in myself.

Trusted Compass

I release you to the universe
It’s arms open wide
Where peace I wish you to find
With the eternal comfort of home

As I leave you to fly on your own
Because it’s time for my own path
My final gift to you is the truth you seek
Listen closely with an open heart

Answers you seek and wish me to tell
Can’t replace the experience
your soul demands
For you to discover who you are and will be
On this brief journey called life

You are the creator of your reality
Just as your creator intended it to be
Free will is the gift you were given
Choice is the variable that leaves your path yet to be seen

This above all else is the truth you should know
Your primary purpose is to serve your creator
As we are you and you are us
Let that be your guide in all you do

Work to achieve for money, acceptance and admiration
Seeking for the objective of self
And all you build will crumble again and again
Like quicksand beneath your feet

Serve God above all else
Go within for it’s there you will find what your made of
Everything you could ever need and want
You will be blessed in miracles

Your light will explode
Igniting change for the better
Raising the hopes of the world
Leading many as you travel

Do everything with love
It will be your trusted compass
Do not fear but find courage to stand on your own
Warriors of truth often stand alone

It’s In The Giving

The illusion I had been chasing is that love from others will make me feel complete.

If only I could get you to love me I would feel like I am enough, safe, secure and happy.

Truth is that the amount of completeness and joy I experience is in direct proportion to my ability to give love to others.

Ego says be careful who you love.

Spirit says everyone is loveable.

Ego says love must be earned or deserved.

Spirit says I need nothing from you to love you.

Ego says withhold love in protection.

Spirit says love more and you will never feel harmed.

This is the kind of unconditional love doesn’t need anything in return.

It is pure.

It is lasting.

It is an unshakeable foundation for living.

Borrow

If you allow me to borrow your heart

For as long as the heavens determine

If you allow me to keep it safe

For as long as the sun shines on this moment of time

Even though I can never call it mine

It is not to be possessed

It belongs to no one

It was created by God just for you

Even though it shall be forever free to follow where it shall go

If you allow your heart to come find shelter beside my own

For as long as the puzzle pieces fit

And walk along the path towards light in sweet harmony

Relaxing into the beauty of togetherness

Leaving behind the illusion of the past

Jumping off the waterfall cliffs of possibility

Connecting to it’s missing piece

If you allow me to borrow your heart

I will lend mine out to you