Letting Go

One thing I’ve discovered about myself is that I have a high capacity for justification. I can invariably hurt people and not see it. I lie to myself. I always have truth deep within me, but sometimes I’m far from admitting it. If I tell myself the truth, then I have to change. And if I don’t want to change, I continue to lie to myself and blame others.

I think I’m taking the easier, softer way by not having to courage to walk away from situations that are harmful to others, but really it’s because of my own selfishness. I don’t want to leave the comfort I get from someone’s attention, someone’s love, and I stay because I don’t want to be alone.

There will always come a time when the truth finds me, and I can no longer continue to live the lie. The people around me retaliate to my actions and it’s time to do the right thing.

Sometimes the right thing means walking away, freeing others from the hold I have on them. Loving them enough to allow them to finally find what they need, when I know it’s certainly not me.

The answer is always in loving more, loving myself and others. Letting go and moving on frees me from the suffering I create.

What is my choice to be?

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What Actually Happened

I’m so happy you are fighting for your connection with God
Nothing would be possible without it
In that moment though
I hoped you would give another answer with that

I wanted you to say you would fight for me
For love
That you realized you didn’t want to be without me
Not because you can’t be alone
But because we had something real
I wanted you to say you have missed me
That the world seems brighter when we are together

I wished you would’ve said these things
You asked what I would fight for
I have fought for something
I fought for you and it didn’t matter

I was standing there hoping
That now it might come from you
That you would say what I needed to hear

But you didn’t
And that was my answer