Tears In The Background

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My latest lesson has been uncovering the truth about the pain that has been unacknowledged by me, over the separation from my children the past 2 years. I have been unwilling to look at it and let it in, so therefore it has been just haunting me.

In my eyes, under every smile, every laugh, has been a sign of mourning and sadness. No matter what I do, it’s there.

There are times when I understand that this is my life. There are times when I know that my children have their own autonomous path that may or may not include me daily.

I trust God.

Yet there are most times when my heavy heart aches because they aren’t near.

Tears aren’t far from my eyes at any given moment.

I want to find freedom from this suffering so I wrote a letter to God about this recently and went over it with my spiritual guide. We talked about how to get into solution concerning this pain.

We talked about loving my clients the way I would love my kids. Giving the women I care for the same love I express with my children. Because in all reality they are no different than my kids. If I wasn’t the mom in this story, would I believe they deserved any less love than my boys?

Loving my clients, or anyone in my life, is loving my children. When I love others I am helping make the planet a better place for my kids. We are all connected.

For some reason this helps relieve my suffering.

When I can see everyone as “one life” then the way I act to different people is exactly the same. Ego is the only thing that causes me to act differently depending on who is in front of me.

Ego is what is suffering from being apart from my boys.

I want to live in spirit.

I want to be the mom God intended me to be.

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It’s All The Same Truth

All judgement fell away when I finally saw the truth, that every mythology, every religion, everything based in science, and all spiritual teachings, were saying the same thing but just using different language.

It’s humans that have developed this sense of separation and division, and corrupted the true message.

We are all headed towards the same thing no matter how we describe or qualify it.

And it is my belief that anyone honestly on the search for truth will get there.

Vibrate

Vibrate high with the sound of love

Love, the sound of all creation

End separation and judgement

What you judge you become

Blame will not serve you

Rise above the darkness

Have words of truth fall from your lips

Don’t theorize a spiritual life

Live it

Open your heart to unite with bliss

Give without conditions

Allow your soul to guide you

Let down your walls

They are needed no more

Be the magnificent creator that you are

Remember what you have forgotten

Reach towards the light

Towards your creator

It will never fail you

What Actually Happened

I’m so happy you are fighting for your connection with God
Nothing would be possible without it
In that moment though
I hoped you would give another answer with that

I wanted you to say you would fight for me
For love
That you realized you didn’t want to be without me
Not because you can’t be alone
But because we had something real
I wanted you to say you have missed me
That the world seems brighter when we are together

I wished you would’ve said these things
You asked what I would fight for
I have fought for something
I fought for you and it didn’t matter

I was standing there hoping
That now it might come from you
That you would say what I needed to hear

But you didn’t
And that was my answer