When The Student Is Ready

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If we are made in God’s image, and God is everything or God is nothing, then humans are a piece of God.

Some call it “the God within”.

If our goal is to seek to know God, to feel connected, then it’s essential we strive to be close with the planet, nature, animals and…
humans.

When we are feel separate or apart from other humans, we only increase the separation from God.

The ugliness we see and fear in others is directly correlated with what we see and fear in ourselves.

Embrace and forgive yourself for the dark, for without it, we wouldn’t know light.

Without bad we wouldn’t know good.

When we can see the God in others, when we can look for the good, the beauty, the light, we can move closer into God consciousness.

Unity means we don’t do this alone, we do it together. When you ask for those you need to assist you on your journey, you will be given those guides.

It’s up to you to recognize them when they appear. It takes willingness to take the hand of those God given to you, and allow them to lead you.

Trust in God and his humble servants to not lead you astray.

Shed the old that hold you back.

When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

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1 Year and 1 Day Sober

Yesterday I turned one year sober. I started to write this on the actual day but couldn’t finish it because my day was so full of love, joy, emotion and amazing experiences.

I can’t even seem to put into words all that I am feeling.

To know the change that has occurred in me, to be able to see the woman I have become, to feel my heart full of gratitude for the life I know I have today because of God’s grace and the willingness to allow God to work through me, is something indescribable.

It’s never been about just not using drugs and drinking for me this time.

It’s not been about counting the days behind me that I have collected abstinent from substances that alter me.

It’s been about seeking a relationship with and connecting to this all knowing, all loving creator of everything and everyone.

It’s been about spiritual growth.

It’s been about my soul’s evolution and experiencing a freedom like I’ve never known.

The gift of willingness I have been granted, that you can’t buy or sell, has been graced upon me for what reason I do not know, but I hope to always keep, and has transformed me into the person that God intended me to be.

Today that’s more than enough for me.

Back to Center

Today was absolutely beautiful.

Part of it was that I had the honor of speaking at a local treatment center for alcohol and drug addiction.

I am an observer.

I watch people.

As I looked around and watched everyone before the meeting, some laughing and joking, some solemn, some scared, I felt full. I saw a room full of people looking for a solution.

I felt hopeful.

I always take time to say a silent prayer before I speak, asking for God to speak through me, to not speak from ego and for God to allow me to speak truth to these people.

I ask that I say something that at least one person would hear to be of help.

I ask that I can touch people at a soul level.

It was an absolutely amazing experience to finish speaking and see people light up, newly sober, and want to share their truth.

To feel the outpouring of love and gratitude from this group of people is incomparable.

To connect with others, be real, share on an honest level and watch everyone open up, is why I continue to do what I do.

There is nothing like being a part of raising consciousness.

I feel purposeful.

I feel closer to God.

Still raw and vulnerable from events of this week, I so needed this today.

I needed to come back to center.

Thank you God.

Surrender and Clarity

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After every period of suffering, resistance and pain lies the rainbow of clarity, if only I look up from the ground to the sky to see it.

The path to awakening, for this girl, consists of constant shifts in perspective. Often times I get stuck in a way of perceiving the world around me that is not based in truth.

I don’t even know it’s happening.

It sneaks up on me and I can’t see it, because the more my spirit evolves, so does my ego. It has to because of the laws of the universe, the yin and the yang or Einstein’s theory of relativity.

The more evolved the soul, the more evolved the ego.

My ego (basically everything that comes from my thinking) is always evolving and changing as I do, finding new ways to infiltrate, override and confuse what my soul knows.

It is not my friend.

The “problem” if there is such a thing, is not in what is, no matter what is happening around me, but always lies in my perception of what is.

So I go to my spiritual teacher to help me see what sometimes I cannot, someone who tells me the truth. Though my ego will try fight, deny or rationalize, my soul hears it. As long as I have one thing on my side, my ego cannot win.

That indispensable thing is willingness.

Willingness allows me to hear her and to have the other things on my side that save me being owned by my mind. Those things are honesty, humility and open mindedness.

I have a chance, with all these gifts, to move towards clarity, truth and freedom.

And freedom from being chained by anything or anyone, is what I’ve always sought.

Someone said to me recently that after a tough time and then major surrender, they set out to make God their everything, to get everything they had realized they were still seeking in the outside world from God.

When they did that, a transformation occurred, bringing amazing freedom and gifts like none other.

When they said that, my soul heard it.

And now that has been my new intention.

What Surrender, Again?

There are no coincidences in this experience called human life. Every second orchestrated in beautiful harmony whether we can see it in this present moment or not.

I’ve been very physically sick, sicker than I’ve been in a long, long time. For the last few days it’s been constant suffering. There still seems no end in sight. It came on like a storm out of the blue.

It has forced me to slow down and just be. Though at this very time my ego has been feeling it quite inconvenient. I cannot go run and do a million things to avoid myself.

I can’t do much of anything except talk (and that is difficult), read and do some writing.

Why is this perfect timing?

I’ve lost someone I love.

Today I should’ve started the gift of my new position at work.

I’ve had to allow people to help me. Those I typically help, I’ve had to lean on to help me, which is still a work in progress for me.

I’ve had to say no to people.

Although I’m finding life today is not how I would’ve liked to see it, and add to it being physically hurting and ill, this is actually the perfect time.

I have been “encouraged” by the universe to delve deeper within.

And so I have.

This feeling of complete and utter surrender, being out of answers, no resistance, giving up everything I think I know, exhausted and at the mercy of all that is in this moment, is a familiar feeling I’ve felt before.

Uncomfortable as it is, I feel the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders, again. Weight I never knew I had been carrying, yet again.

I can look back at all the growth and beauty that grew from this experience in the past and believe that it’s about to happen again.

Because I have awareness today.

Because I trust.

Because I am open.

Because I am willing.

Without Words

You cannot get wet by the spoken or written word “water”.

This is a word that was created to describe the substance that is.

You can see it, touch it and drink it.

It was created to communicate what exists.

The words “love” and “I love you” are an attempt to describe the act or action of loving.

It is not a “feeling”.

By themselves, they are just words that can be heard by the ears but the words are not what can be felt in the heart.

You cannot know and feel love by the word, only by action of being loving.

Love is respectful, kind, honest, giving, unselfish, consistent and committed.

It is not greedy, needy, selfish, careless, hurtful or fickle.

If I wanted to convey love but had no language to use, what would I do?

“The only way you know you love yourself or anyone else is by the contracts you are willing to make and keep.” Pat Allen

Alcoholism And The Solution

“If he is to find God, the desire must come from within.”

Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 95

The only solution for my problem is a spiritual solution. After years and years of research on how to treat Alcoholism, the only thing that has been working in the lives of alcoholics and drug addicts, that gives us a chance to live free from the obsession to drink or use drugs, is spiritual growth.

No person can save another alcoholic. We can be the light, live as examples of freedom and work with others but unless the person suffering has willingness, there isn’t much else that can be done.

People who do not stay sober either can not or will not. The only thing that can save us from this progressive and fatal illness is God.

When we don’t have the willingness we can pray to God for it to come.

It’s hard to watch when others we love and care about aren’t willing to reach for solution. There is going to be loss as we travel this narrowing path. People will come in and out of our lives.

It just is.

The focus must remain on ourselves and our own spiritual growth so when those who are ready to grow towards the light come to us, we can be there to help.

Everyone has there own path on this earth and I don’t need to understand it and never will, but today I can be grateful for the freedom I have found and the willingness to know and serve God. I can be grateful for those I have in my life that bring me such joy.

I can thank God for another day on this planet free from bondage and suffering.

I can thank God for having the miracle of today.

What Can I Give Today?

If I am to be anything to anyone else the best thing I can do is build within myself first.

I have found that when I know who I am, when I am spiritually connected, when I focus on the things I need to change in me, when I believe in not just who I am today but who I am becoming, I can then come into relationships with others and bring goodness.

If I don’t have love in me to give then my relationships don’t work. If I’m filled with anger, resentment and fear, that is what I give to others. If I’m filled with judgement of myself then all I do is judge others.

When I love myself I can focus on what I can bring to others, to help lighten their lives and how I can love them better. I can find more peace in these relationships.

It’s in the turning away from what I think I need to get from people and turning to what I can give to them that I find everything I’ve been looking for.

I put each relationship to the test.

What can I bring to my relationships today?

Have I done the work within myself to create loving relationships?

Witnessing Miracles

My sober friend, a walking miracle, who travels this road towards truth beside me.

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The Space Between You And I

God exists not only in each one of us but in the space between you and I.

I cannot claim to want to experience intimacy if I cannot give up trying to protect myself.

The two cannot coexist.

I can only be in true connection with myself, God and others, when I truly allow myself to be vulnerable.

I can only be free when I stop trying to control the universe which will not be controlled.

My soul WILL evolve whether my ego likes it or not.

I will choose to be free.